Infertility to Motherhood

Lorna would be 6 today

2011-02-08T04:03:00.000-08:00

Today is a very sad day for me. I lost my beautiful daughter at 19.2 weeks. She was beautiful in every way. Every year I go through a morning process. It starts on the 7th of Feb. We found out she was gone. I had her on the 8th. I remember every part of the day. I remember every second of the day. Every ache of my heart. I remember crying so hard. Devastation. I wish she could have been here with us. I look at my children and I wonder what she would have been like. Would she have had my personality and look like my hubby like the other 2 children.

Missing my angel today...

Its been over a year.

2011-02-07T07:19:00.000-08:00

I don't think anyone comes here anymore but I was thinking about it and I might just start writing again. So here sums up my year.

It sucked!!

I was out of work the first part of the year due to fainting in November of 09. I got to go back to work in June of 10! Yea! Hayley who is now 2 years old blew up our house with the toilet and we spent 45 days living in a motel. It was ok and we survived!! I fainted again in Sept. at work. I didn't tell a soul. I knew it would take my job from me!! Coupld of days later We went of vacation to England for my brother in laws wedding. It was my first time there. I can't say enough about it! I loved it!!! (Pictures to follow) Anyway, I went back to work when I got back. One week after we got back I had a mild heart attack. I am ok now. Not smoking that is for sure! Anyway, I fainted again after the heart attack so I decided it was time to fess up. So Now I am unemployed. That about sums up 2010. It was a horrible year for us.

We are getting ready to move!! Yikes haven't done that in 11 years. Should be interesting. We are moving closer to town to save money on gas and everything else!! So as promised here are some pictures of 2010.

OMG I can't believe how long its been

2010-01-12T17:18:00.000-08:00

Yes I am alive. Life with 2 has been more energy that is for sure!! I hope to post some pictures from the last 8 months!! The kids are great! We finally got Ashton potty trained in October. We were working so hard with him that Hayley was picking it up too. She is 20 months old already. My how time fly. They are both growing and doing great. unfortunately, they both have my temper! LOL

I went driving for kohls in July instead of doing yard jockey work for them. Nov 30th I pass out!! So I have been out of work since then until the Dr's can figure out why or I am off for 3 months minium. Yes, it was nice having the time off during the holidays but I am anxious to get back to work now.

I have to get the kids in bed now!!! I will try to not make it another 8 months before posting again. lol

Happy Mother's Day!

2009-05-10T19:57:00.000-07:00

Its hard to imagine that 5 years ago I resented mother's day. It was a day to remember my losses and a day to feel like I had failed in someway. I remember how it felt. I remember going to church one year and they were handing out flowers to all the moms. The guy wanted to give me one and I had to say," I am not a Mom" I felt terrible. It would have been easier just to take the flowers and run. Pretend that I had my children with someone else but I couldn't do it. In years past, I have just stayed away on Mother's Day. It was a day of rememberance for me today.

Four years ago, Mother's day was May 15 2005, I will never forget this day. I had embyo's transferred on that day. One of them is now Ashton. Mother's day took on a whole new meaning. I prayed so hard that day for one of them to stick and stay with us. It was a special day also filled with grief over losing Lorna and having to try all over again. Even though I was already a mother of 2 angels that day is the first time that I truely felt like a mom. I knew they were there. I knew that they were alive. I felt like a mother on that day.

Three years ago, was my first mother's day that I had a child in my arms to hold. I had pictures done on this day, just Ashton and me together. I love those photos. I look at them and see the love that I had for him and he had for me. I can see this.

Two years ago, on Mother's Day, Ashton was 16 months old. Walking and talking. Carl and I had made the decision that we weren't going try anymore for children. I cherished this day because, Ashton was only going to be little once.

One year ago, I had just had Hayley our big surprise baby. Hormones playing havok on my system well, I cried all day knowing just how blessed it was to have 2 of them. Holding a brand new baby, and a toddler. How blessed I have been to have become a mom.

Today, as I said before was a rememberance day for me. I felt this way because of what was said at church. Our lay speaker, was talking about not being a mother and celebrating the women that have affected us like our mothers have. As I took this in with my experiences of being the infertile I can now see that I didn't have to feel that way 5 years ago. So I want to say Happy Mother's Day to all the women not just those with children.

Pictures as promised

2009-05-03T13:31:00.000-07:00

Easter Photos

Hayley and her cake

Waiting on her cake

Ashton and Hayley. We were singing happy birthday

Hayley and I before the mess

Hayley's birthday cake

Waiting for her party to begin

Carl in his truck for work. He just started with Fed Ex in Feb

Having fun before the party begins

Hayley and I in Daddy's truck

She had a wonderful time!!

Happy Birthday Hayley!!!!!!!

2009-05-01T12:38:00.000-07:00

OMG a year already!!! It went by so fast!!! Her party is tomorrow and I promise to post pictures then!!!!!

2009-03-23T19:16:00.000-07:00

Been busy lately. No not working. My hours are now only 20 (used to be 40) I don't seem to have any time to do much of anything on the computer unless it is late and I am staying up late.

Well there are alot of photos to look at so I hope you enjoy them. We went to the circus this past weekend it was so much fun. Ashton had a great time and can't wait for us to take him again.

Well, I am sad to say

2009-02-28T08:58:00.001-08:00

that none of the embryo's made it. They gave them the chance at life and that is what we were hoping for. We wanted them to have the opportunity at life. I am sorry to say that none of them were able to make the journey with us.

Pray for the embyro's

2009-02-19T22:08:00.001-08:00

Well, adoptive mom was having them dethawed today. My 04 batch (Lorna's IVF) I had 4 of them. Only 1 survived the dethaw and died a couple hours later. My 05 (Ashton's IVF) I had 5 left over 4 of them survived. They are not blastocysts so they are hoping that they make it. I am not sure when she will have them transferred if they make it. Please pray for them.

I am kind of sad to hear that Lorna's siblings didnt make it. If we would have used them chances are they wouldn't have made it either. It makes me wonder if my need to have a fresh batch after losing her was something I knew I needed to do. I kind of not sure how I am feeling other than I have lost them even though they weren't going to be mine now.
Heather

Happy Birthday Lorna

2009-02-07T20:30:00.000-08:00

We miss you. It may have been 4 years ago but it still feels like yesterday. The weather today was beautiful just like it was then. I thought so much about you today. Keep watch over your siblings. We miss you still.
Love
Mommy and Daddy

Ashton turns 3 today!!

2009-01-21T04:18:00.001-08:00

Happy Birthday my little man!!

I wanted to put up a picture of him but photobucket is down so hopefully I will be able to do it later!!

Happy New Year

2008-12-31T21:28:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone has a great new year!

Pictures!!!!!

2008-12-19T05:01:00.000-08:00

Ashton helping to decorate the Christmas Tree

Dec 4, 2008

Putting the tree up Dec 3, 2008

Dec 4, 2008

Forgotten ornaments

Nov 30, 2008. We put up a daybed in Ashton's room.

November 22, 2008. Hayley in Ashton's jumperoo. She loves it. Ashton used to fall asleep just like this.

November 23, 2008

October 31, 2008. Hayley's costume didn't have a hood on it. Ashton didn't want to wear his so we put it on her and were calling her the pumpkasaurus

October 31, 2008. Ashton and Daddy trick or treating

The one of very few photos we got with the hood on.

October 11, 2008. We went to a pumpkin patch

October 11, 2008. Ashton and his cousin Trinton. They are 3 months apart. This is the best photo I have of them. I wish they were both looking at me.

Ashton and his Granddad at the pumpkin patch. We took a hay ride.

Ashton and Trinton

I have a photo from last year that looks so similar to this one.

December 3, 2008.

Our babycicles are going to a good home

2008-12-05T19:41:00.000-08:00

Carl and I decided that we are not going to try to have any more children so we had to decide what we were going to do with our babycicles. We couldn't sign the paperwork for them to be destroyed. We now know what wonderful children they could be. They may only be 6-8 cells but they are babies to us.

When we first started to think about adopting them we thought of the parents that we were going to give them to. We thought we wanted parents that had been married a long time (10 years). We wanted parents that had been trying to conceive for 5 years.

We posted a ad for them on miracles waiting web site for them. It is a web sight to help people with the aspects of adopting embryos and to help people find each other. I got about 75 responses to our ad. We found the couple there. I am happy for them and happy that they wanted all 9 of them. They want to try to have 2 babies from them. I thougt this to be wonderful. That if there are 2 then they are biologically related. I hope and pray that everything works out and that they have to beautiful babies. My prayers are with them.

Work and some more work

2008-11-08T20:56:00.000-08:00

Well, that about sums up what I am going to be doing for the next few weeks. This week I worked 64 hours and then came home to the 2 little ones. So I am pretty much exhausted!! I will be working about 60 hours for the next few weeks so that will explain my absence. I hope to post some pictures but I can't seem to remember where I put my camera after Halloween. They looked so cute!!

Ashton is starting to potty train!! YEA!!!! He is touch and go right now as to whether or not he wants to even sit on the potty. He gets frustrated if he can't do it. Last Tues a week ago was the first he peed on the potty and he was so proud of himself! Then we couldn't get him to even go near it all week. On wed of this week he decided to go again. Nothing Thurs or Friday and then today he went again. It is weird cause he knows when he is going to go. It is a decision on his part as to if he is going to take time from playing to go!! Hayley maybe potty trained before him LOL

As for Hayley, she learned to sit up and stay up this week and she learned to clap. It is adorable. She is adorable!! I hate to work so much when she is going to do things for the first time.

We went and go our Christmas photos done today and that completes my shopping for Christmas. I am sure that we will buy some more (not much we can't afford it!) but mainly it is done. Believe it or not we did all our shopping at Kohls (if you recall this is where we are now employed as contractors) We got friends and family discount coupons 15% and with sale items we were getting really good buys on the toys!! I bought Hayley some clothes for next summer that cost us about $3 for an outfit.

Pray that I find my camera and that I make it through the next few weeks with working so much. I am going to miss coming here and seeing what is going on. If I find my camera tomorrow. I am going to clean my house, I will post some pictures then.

My Babycicles

2008-10-25T21:04:00.001-07:00

Carl and I are done having babies. We both feel like our family is complete. I also feel like we wouldn't be able to afford another! I can't work while I am pregnant and money gets tight! Anyway, we have 9 embryo's frozen. We are going to adopt them to another couple. What type of questions would you be asking them? They are on my mind alot these days.

As for Hayley she is better it took almost a week before she got better!! I can't believe that on the first she is going to be 6months old!!

I hope to post some pictures soon.

All I have to say is..

2008-10-10T20:53:00.000-07:00

Hayley has Croup.

Through the Eyes of the Infertile

2008-09-27T06:59:00.000-07:00

I saw a woman at Walmart the other day. She gave a look at my children and then at me. I know that look. It is the look of the infertile. A look of happiness, pain, sorrow and longing. I know this look. I have had it myself many times. I know it all to well.

She doesn't know of all the heartache I have had to have my children. She doesn't know of all the surgeries and pain that I have experienced. She doesn't know that I have had fertility treatments. She doesn't know that I have two children that aren't with me but in Heaven. She doesn't know that Ashton is an IVF baby. What she doesn't understand is that I have walked in her shoes for many years.

When I had that look I never once looked at a mother and thought of her story or if she even had one to tell. I just looked at the children and would think of how much I wanted to have one. I would think of God and wonder if He was ever going to give me a child of my own. I would have feelings of jealousy. She had what I wanted so bad. I would look at young moms and just be angry. I would see moms yelling at their kids in public and it would make me mad. I had so much longing it hurt.

It hurt every time someone would give their opinion as to why we couldn't have children. There are so many things you hear when you are infertile. "You just need to relax", "It will happen just wait and see", "Stop fretting", "You will have time for children later", "I never thought you wanted to have children" (my mother), "Your still young enjoy your youth", "It must not be the right time for a child if God hasn't given you one" . That women doesn't know that I have heard them all too.

Her look brought back so memories of all the hurt, pain and loss. I wanted to run to her and tell her everything is going to be all right. I wanted to hug her and tell her that I have been in her shoes. I wanted to give her hope. However,stories of success only hurt. Yes I know that is suppose to give you hope but for me it left me thinking that I wouldn't be that one. It left me feeling hopeless. Those stories of success were someone else. They weren't me. Things like that don't happen for me. A kind of "Woe is me" feeling. There was nothing I could say to her.

I never thought I was going to have children. If you would be able to talk to the 33 year old me. She would tell you that there is no way that in matter of 4 years I would have two children. She would say that it is impossible to get pregnant. She would say that even if I get pregnant I won't carry the baby. She would say that there is something wrong her. She just wouldn't believe the next 4 years. I still don't believe it. It is an amazing story to tell yet that women will never know it.

Photos as promised

2008-09-19T22:30:00.000-07:00

Hayley in her Bumbo seat. She is 4 months old.

Ashton and Hayley. Don't they look alike?

Daddy and Hayley she is 4 months old

I have been having a hard time getting Hayley to sleep in her crib. She likes her mobile to much!

Hayley in her Bumbo seat at 3 months

I took my shower and this is where I found Ashton. He was sleeping when I went in!

We went to the national zoo. It was so hot that day. We went in July

Ashton was watching TV in his room

Ashton held us captive in our house with the hose!

This is Carl's sister Jessica with Hayley she was 8 weeks old

My niece Andrea and the kids

Got Milk?? (yes its spit up but its funny)

Daddy and Hayley (3months old)

Yes I am alive

2008-09-19T05:45:00.000-07:00

It has been a long time since I updated my blog!! Having 2 children really does take all of your time. So much has gone on and adjusting to our new life has had its challenges! I promise I will update on photos this weekend. I will have a ton of them.

Since I posted last time, Hayley is getting so big and well she is already 4 months old! My how time flys. I was able to breast feed her until Aug when I went back to work. It was great to be able to do it this time. I would have been able to do it with Ashton had I known all that I know now. I wish that I didn't have to go back to work. I would still be breast feeding. I tried after going back to work it was just to much hassle and time consuming to do.

Ashton is getting big as well. He is already over 3 feet tall. Over half of my height! He is talking so much. He has always been a talker but now he is saying so many words. He will engage in a conversation and will start one if he has something to say. He is the typical 2 year old. He has many tantrums! He loves having his sister. It is so funny that it seems he doesn't remember being the only child. It is like she has been here all of his life.

If you don't remember I lost my job (we lost the account) I was able to find another one that started Aug. 1 doing the same thing that I was doing before. I have to travel farther but that is OK. It is a job and I know that many are looking for work right now. It is going well. Carl decided to leave Schneider and come with me to the new company National Freight Inc. He is driving locally for them on the new account. Kohls. All he does is drive to the stores and drop his trailer and pick up the old one. He really likes it alot. His hours are all over the place though and he never has the same day off. The insurance doesn't kick in until Jan and they let you have a supplemental insurance. Which well sucks. I hope Ashton doesn't break his arm!

I am in a rountine of sorts. It has been difficult trying to get into one with 2 of them on different sleep patterns. Hayley has been a great sleeper! She has been sleeping through the night since 2 months but she is am and Ashton after I went back to work has gone to the evening shift. I am working 2pm to 10 pm. Ashton hasn't been going to bed until midnight! Hayley is up at 6-7am so I am sleep deprived everyday. Once in a blue moon someone will take them from me and I get a nap. Those naps are the best sleep I get! I should be sleeping right now because Carl is home and could take the kiddos for me but I am here updating you all. I am sure that there isn't many readers left!

I will post pictures tomorrow I won't promise but hope. Anything is possible to get in my way with 2 of them!!

Lots and Lots of Pictures

2008-06-15T11:35:00.000-07:00

Grampie and Hayley. She is 5 weeks old

Ashton in Hayley's playmat!!

June 13, 2008. After a hard day at Aunt DeeDoo's house

This is Lexie, she won the soap box race in the master's division!! Congratulations! She is a neice! She will go and compete in Ohio in July!

May 19, 2008. The first time in the Gym for Ashton! He is now a pro!!

Hayley getting baptized 6/1/08

Great Aunt Betty and Hayley. 6/1/08

Grandad, Nanny and Hayley. 6/1/08

Godparents, Darren, Robin, their daughter Courtney (our goddaughter) and Hayley.6/1/08

Pastor Terri and Hayley. 6/1/08

Ashton and his swing set

Ashton and his swing set

Hayley growing out of her outfits already at 3 week!

Hayley and Gramie. 3 weeks old

6/1/08 This is the first full family photo we have. It only took 4 weeks!!

5/24/08 Hayley at her first soap box race.

5/16/08. Hayley's first tub bath.

Ashton at the playland at Burger King

Hayley is to tired to play at Burger King!

Carl and Ashton playing with his swing set.

New Pictures of my Children!!

2008-05-20T12:45:00.000-07:00

Here they are! I can't believe that I have 2 of them!!!

Pictures!!!!!!!!

2008-05-04T07:08:00.000-07:00

She gave us a very big scare. I went in at 7:30 on the first. Everything was good. I was already in a pattern so the dr just used cytotec. Since the epi now comes with a pump you can get it at any time!! So I got it around 10:30am. Around 2pm my dr decided to break my water. OH NO! Cord came out first! Not good. My dr is great she caught it. Put me in trendellenburg and then hooked me to pitocin to bring Hayley down the birth canel. All along I am signing papers for the emergency c section. If the anesteilogist had been there I would have had the section. However, her moving everything out of the way and the contractions fixed the problem. My dr was still very nervous that I wouldn't be able to push her out. AT 3:30pm it is time to push, I pushed about 3 x and dr could see that Hayley's shoulder was going to have a problem coming through. She did an episotomy. I didn't have this with Ashton I had the perneal message, GET THE EPISOTOMY!!!! It was so much better. So 1 more push and she was here.

5/1/08 at 1546. Weighing in at 8lbs 3 oz

Meet Hayley Renae

My sister Dina

Ashton coming to see Hayley for the first time.

Daddy and Hayley

Hayley has been born

2008-05-02T03:38:00.000-07:00

We are happy to say that are little girl has arrived She weighs 8lbs 3oz and was 20 and a half inches long and she looks great

Induction is set for Thursday!

2008-04-29T21:19:00.000-07:00

I hope all goes well!! My cervix has to be ready. Not exactly sure what that means. a week ago last monday I was 3cm and 75%. The dr who I saw on Monday didn't check it then. (not my regular dr)

I have been feeling guilty that Ashton won't be my only child anymore. It hit really hard this evening and has made me cry!! I went to Walmart and bought him a new video and let him pretend play on the video machines Tomorrow he goes with Gramie all day long. I am not going to take that from him just so I see him all day!

4am thoughts!

2008-04-24T01:04:00.000-07:00

How amazing is it that I am pregnant? How amazing it is that I am pregnant natrually? How amazing is to feel Hayley move? How amazing it is that I am 15 days from having a bundle of joy that should never have been? What a survivor this one is? She just shouldn't be! She has overcome so much to be here! First that I o'd on my own! 2nd that Carl and I even had sex to conceive her! 3rd that his tropper found the right direction! 4th that I took provera to bring on AF and she never came! 5th that she found the right place to implant! 6th that she developed a HB! 7th that I even discovered that I was preggo at all and able to get on the right meds at that time! 8th that we made it past the 1st, 2nd and now 3rd trimesters. 9th that I am going to be holding a baby soon that I never thought in a million years would ever be! 10th I just can't believe any of it.

What an amazing journey she has already been on. I sit here and just think of how none of this would have crossed my mind just 3 years ago after losing Lorna. I never thought I would be that one that would get preggo after 12 yrs of infertility 2 losses 1 child. Carl and I in Aug will celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary..........................I can't believe that it has been that long............................ I never thought I would have one child let alone 2! What a joy it is to have been blessed with her! I am overly anxious to meet this miracle! I thought Ashton was a miracle...this one just blows my mind as to how she even came to be....

I am nervous about giving birth to her. Nervous that something may go wrong in the next 15 days. Nervous that there maybe something wrong etc..... I remember having all of these feelings with Ashton. However with this pregnancy already having overcome all the odds, I just can't help but be amazed when I allow myself to think that I am preggo at all!

OK I can't sleep tonight, I am more miserable than ever and yet I am happy to be feeling this way at all!!!!!!!!

3cm dialated and 75% effaced!

2008-04-21T08:13:00.000-07:00

Had my NST this morning. Hayley passed with flying colors. I am having regular contractions. I am not feeling them all yet! The ones that I am feeling are about every 10 mins or so. Hopefully won't be much longer now! My dr did say to me that she was on call Friday so hopefully that will mean something then!! LOL

Shower/ Belly and Ashton Photos!

2008-04-15T19:58:00.000-07:00

Here is a picture of something I said I was never going to do! Yes we put a TV in Ashton's room! I am so sick of Thomas and Bob!

Sleeping on the floor in his room

Yes Ashton took a nap in his bed!! We are co-sleeping so even though he was only there for 20 minutes he was still there!

"Mommy, I have stickers on my head!"

NST today. Hayley passed with flying colors. I have a ton of fluid. I am having contractions but not in any pattern yet! I am 2cm dialated and 50%! So I hope we go sooner than expected. Last week they did a weight check and well, she was estimated at 7lbs already!
36.4week belly photo from Today!!

Pictures from my baby shower April 5

NST and a ton of Pictures!!!

2008-04-01T06:26:00.000-07:00

My first NST was yesterday and Hayley passed with flying colors!! I am so relieved!!! I hope she continues to do well! My dr is talking about an induction in the 39th week so that means I will probably have a May baby if I don't go into labor first! I wanted to go in the 38th week! I am already miserable and can't sleep!! Also I had the AVI done, this is where they measure the fluid. Looks like I have to much just like with Ashton. It is OK though. I gained 41lbs with him and walked out of the hospital 31lbs lighter! I have only gained 25 with her so far! So keeping my fingers crossed that I will weigh less after having her! LOL Yeah right! I am dreaming I know!

Hayley's nursery is done!!!! We went with a little girl theme so we didn't have to change her room at 2 like we have had to do with Ashton's room. Pictures of this are included as well!

Easter Egg Hunting at home!

We changed Ashton's room as well. He was growing out of the Winnie the Pooh. We got really lucky because we didn't have to paint!!

At the church for Easter Egg Hunt

At home for Easter Egg Hunt. He really did have a good time!

Photos!

2008-03-18T10:00:00.000-07:00

I can never seem to get these photos in order so they are all jumbled up!! Sorry!
Before photo of nursery

Before of nursery

After painting the nursery. We aren't done yet. We still have to put up the border.

After painting

After painting

Ashton yesterday in his coaster

32.3 week belly photo

Before photo of nursery

Nervous, Nerves

2008-02-29T06:32:00.000-08:00

Ok I was handling being preggo and nervous OK but the last few days have been horrible for me.

I still have my doppler and yes I use it everyday even though I can feel her move. However, in the last few days she has been moving a little less (which I know is suppose to happen, just can't tell my brain that) and I have noticed some slow down in her heart rate. Like last night it was down at 120-125 which is freaking me out but really what can I do. Go sit at L&D just for them to send me home when it comes back up. This happened with Ashton so I know this is what would happen.

Yes her Heart rate has come back up but that is what is so terrifiying for me. Ashton, did this right about this time in his pregnancy (31 weeks), I sat in L&D a lot for the very same reason. Then when I was induced with him he had a terrible time. His heart rate kept dropping etc....... I just remember how terrified I was the last few weeks of his pregnancy.

I just hope and pray that this little miracle is going to be the true miracle for Carl and I to keep. I get so nervous knowing that at anytime during a pregnancy maybe the last moment. It is extrememely nerve wrecking! I thought I would be better this time but I am not. Actually the closer I get the worse I feel about it. I just can't help myself. How am I ever going to make the next 70 days???

U/S!!!

2008-02-19T11:40:00.000-08:00

Hayley looks really good!! She is weighing about 2 pound 15oz (+/- 3oz)She was really active and again they had a hard time getting any photos of her. The office just got the 3/4d u/s machine! I was really excited to have it done! They couldn't print the photos off in color yet but I got to see her on the monitor with color. Let me tell you she looks exactly like Carl!

Her Face and hand

Her smiling

Her face

Her foot!

28.1 Week Belly Photos and Ashton Photos!

2008-02-16T20:27:00.000-08:00

Here I am today 28w1d belly photo!

I can't believe how big I am!!

Here is Ashton playing on his coaster! I guess he is bored with it now because he stands up and rides the track. He also rocks the coaster until it spills over on him!

The stool that Ashton is standing on was a neighbor of mine. They were like grandparents to me. They passed away in 1999. I used to stand on this stool and help Mrs. Green bake cookies. When he was standing there at the sink that is all I could think about!

Happy Angel Birthday Lorna!

2008-02-07T12:43:00.000-08:00

I won't be able to post tomorrow so I am doing this a day early. Again, this year it is to cold to send her up balloons so I guess we will do it when we have a warm day. I was going to do it yesterday. It was so warm here but the wind was so bad. I just knew it would get stuck in a tree. I can't believe that my angel has been gone 3 years. It seems like only yesterday.

Happy Birthday Lorna. Mommy and Daddy miss you so much. We think of you everday.

Happy 2nd Birthday Ashton!!!!!!!!!!

2008-01-21T05:36:00.000-08:00

I can't believe he is 2 already!! Time has flown by since he came into our life!! What a joy the last 2 years have been for us! He has been a beautiful miracle in our lives!! We had his birthday party yesterday at his favorite restraunt Ryan's!
Opening the loot!

His Cake

He was scared when we lit the candle!

Pictures from Snow on Thursday!

2008-01-19T03:45:00.000-08:00

On Thursday I woke up before Ashton and got on the computer. I left the door open so I could hear him. My cats aren't allowed in the bedroom but this is what I found!

Ashton took his shoes off in the snow!!!

Ashton playing in the snow!

As our Job comes to a close.

2008-01-13T12:31:00.000-08:00

I have been on short term disability since Oct. and I really haven't talked to much about the fact that Carl and I were losing our jobs 1/21/08. I did make a post back in Sept I think about it. I am really sad about it. I didn't think I would feel bad about not being able to do my job for GM anymore but I seem to be. I hate the fact that we do contract work and can lose it.

GM awarded the account to another carrier due to an underbid. We could have gone with the new company but Schneider offered a bonus to stay with them for the drivers. The bonus is $5000 which of coarse I am not eligible for! We really need this bonus because this year I didn't sign up for afflac and I am only getting 1/4 of my pay. The bonus is paid out 2weeks after the account ends and money every month until it is $5000 So we decided that staying would be a good idea for us right now.

Anyway, it has been difficult for Carl to find something else at Schneider to do and be home. He could have easily transferred to Ford in Winchester Va for the same pay and been home every night as well. However, there are things about working there that Carl didn't like. Him and another guy decided they were going to work as instructors in Carlisle PA. This is 90 miles away. 4 day work week. Carl and I did this from '00 to '02 when they decided to downsize the facility. Only a little later to reopen it again!! Anyway, the cost of driving there and the fact that the pay was less was bad. In the last week, however a new account opened for him, it runs out of Scanton Pa. and is for Sears. It doesn't get him home every night but it pays more and he can just bring home the truck. It does get him home every weekend. So now I am going to feel like a truckers wife again. This is why I learned to drive in the first place!! I didn't want to be away. I do hope that when I am ready to return to work that I can find something! Well, I will worry about that in May!!

Couple of video's

2007-12-28T11:43:00.000-08:00

This was me trying to practice with Ashton on saying the baby's name. Sometimes he was cooperative and sometimes he wasn't! LOL

Pictures!

2007-12-28T01:32:00.000-08:00

Daddy and Ashton with his motorized mower!

Ashton and his bike with training wheels!

I love this photo. He took his pants off! LOL I guess the unwrapping was a hard job!

Most kids hate clothes. Ashton kept putting them over his head! LOL

Aunt DeeDoo with Ashton on his mower!

On Sat. Ashton got ahold of a perment marker! He drew on himself!

Christmas morning

Ashton loves Thomas! This was Christmas Eve. We exchanged gifts with the Godparents then.

Hope everyone is well!. I ended up getting the bug! I had to go to the er last night and get 2 bags of fluid! I was miserable. Today, I am better but and weak!

For those that don't know!

2007-12-26T07:49:00.001-08:00

Hope this works!

I hope everyone had a great holiday!!! Thankfully, Ashton who got sick on Sunday was A-OK on Monday. However today, Carl is home from work sick with the 24 hour bug! Hope I don't catch it!!!!!!!!!

Just some photos!!!

2007-12-22T04:40:00.000-08:00

Here is my 20 week belly shot. The baby is half-baked and we are just a few days from telling everyone what it might be!

Excuse the stretch marks they are from Ashton!

We were helping my mother put up her tree and Ashton was playing in the box!

Here is Ashton sleeping the other night

MY U/S!!!

2007-12-04T03:58:00.000-08:00

The baby looks great!!!!!! I am not as far along as was predicted at 12 weeks! LOL I have to repeat week 17! So I moved from May 3 to May 9. Doesn't matter. Its not like they are going to let me go to 40 weeks anyway with the Gestational Diabeties! I am still planning on an April baby!

The baby showed no signs of Downs! The fold on the back of the neck is now at normal size. There is a nasal bone which alot of Down's babies don't have. There was no webbed or club foot. The arms and legs were of right size to the spine. All this made me feel so good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes we did find out the sex of the baby. I can't post it because we aren't telling the family until Christmas Day! So MUMS the word!

The baby's profile

The baby's foot!

Another profile

The side of the baby's face!

Photos from yesterday and today!

2007-12-02T17:49:00.000-08:00

I went to the bathroom yesterday and when I came out, Ashton was completely under the tree. He climbed out on the other side of it before I could get the camera!

Well, the same thing happened to Carl today. He got the photo!!!

We had a busy morning! He got up at 6am. He didn't fall asleep last night until 10:30! The table he is resting his head on was mine when I was growing up. I bought it at the church yard sell! LOL It is still usefull!

This is what happened later!LOL He climbed up on the sofa and went to sleep WITH THE PIG ON! The pig is noisy and well annoying!

Christmas Tree!

2007-11-25T03:39:00.000-08:00

We decided to put our tree up yesterday. We sent Ashton to grammies house. We worried about how grumpy he was going to be. He only slept 7 hours the night before! We were also worried about all the breakables which I didn't set out or put on the tree this year. We thought the surprise would be better and it so was worth seeing him surprised!! This first photo is of the snowglobe we got him last year. He loved it last year and it seems he still does!

Hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving!

2007-11-23T01:27:00.000-08:00

I had a good time with family and friends yesterday! However, because of the gestational diabetes, I didn't get to eat all that I wanted! I remember last year being so happy because I was going through the holidays not pregnant! LOL Anything for baby though, maybe I will have a feast in May! LOL

16 week Belly photo!

2007-11-19T02:27:00.000-08:00

Well, here my big belly is! 16 weeks 1 day!

Don't mind the stretch marks. Those are from Ashton!

The next 2 are for comparison. This is me pregnant with Ashton at 16 weeks. There is a big difference!!

It is getting cold!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-11-16T08:20:00.001-08:00

Last weekend Carl cleaned out my car and Ashton wanted to go out with him! It was so cold so I bundled him up as you can see!

Are we really ready!?

2007-11-09T02:19:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, we think Ashton had an upset stomach, he was in such a bad mood! He was surely showing his temper etc.... It was really trying for both Carl and I! We both had gotten up early yesterday and it was to say the least tiring!!!!!!! Carl said to me "Are we ready to do this over again?" I immediately said "NO we are to old for this!" I had to take the little bugger out in the car to get him to go to sleep last night!

It was just a bad day and now today I can't sleep in either! Well, my sister takes him for the day so maybe I can get a nap in! He did have diarrhea. It broke his bottom out so bad!!!!!!

NT Scan Positive!

2007-11-07T10:04:00.000-08:00

Well got the call from the Dr. today. The results weren't as good as I had hoped for but not as bad as I was expecting! The results are that the scan for trisiomy (sp?) is a definite negative while the results for the down syndrome are are positive. All this test does is give you your risk factor for the syndrome. If you go just by my age (36) I have a 1-193 chance of having a down syndrome baby. The test reveals 1-225 chance of the syndrome. The Dr would like to do an amnio but Carl and I have decided not to get it. There is a risk factor of 2% for a miscarry. How guilty would we feel if we lost this baby because of the amnio just to find out if the baby has it or not and the baby turned out to be completely normal. Also I would have to stop the lovenox for one night and well that scares me too. We will wait to see what the U/S reveals at 18 weeks if there are any markers of downs and then if there are we may opt then but for now, we are OK with our chances. God blessed us with this child for some reason.

Halloween Pictures!

2007-11-03T10:13:00.001-07:00

This is a little blurry but he kept moving everytime I tried to take his picture!!!

This is my sister Dina trying to hold him still for a photo!

He was getting candy from my sister! Can't you see he loves candy already!

In this photo even though you can't see his face, you can at least see his costume. He was a scarecrow. I had people tell me he looked like Robin Hood!

Carl took Ashton to a Pumpkin Patch place last weekend. He had lots of fun! That is where the rest of the photos were taken at.

U/S today!

2007-10-30T16:19:00.000-07:00

There he or she is sucking their thumb. My mother said this was the baby getting practice cause Ashton is just going to steel the boo from him or her!

This is looking down on the baby's face

Here is their profile

The dr changed my due date to May 3, 2008 so I am 13w3d!! I had the early testing done for down's and the measure wasn't good so we need to pray that this isn't so but God gave us this baby for a reason. The results won't change the outcome of the baby just that we know. IF my blood work comes back not good for it to I think we will just opt for an amnio

More pictures!

2007-10-29T02:07:00.000-07:00

I forgot Ashton's shiner photo. This picture was taken the next morning after it happened! It ended up looking worse before it got any better. He got out of the tub and well was running around naked and I met him at the bedroom door and he started to run from me. He ran around the bed but didn't quite make it and fell into our clothes basket (hard plastic)

My niece,sister nephew and girlfriend, we went and saw the Rocky Horror Picture Show this weekend. We dressed for the occasion!! It was so much fun!! This is my nephew and girlfriend Kayla

This is my niece Andrea

This is Dina my sister and me! I am on the right side.

2007-10-26T12:00:00.000-07:00

This is Andrea my neice. She pushed Ashton in the parade for me.10/20/07

As you can see Ashton was just thrilled with the parade!

Isn't he just adorable!

Ashton woke up the other morning when Carl went to work. It was 5am and well he was playing with his trains!

This is Taylor and Ashton. He has her wrapped around her finger!

Ashton just loves his Chocolate!

Tuesday!

2007-10-26T02:28:00.000-07:00

Where are you? Oh yeah, still 4 days away! I can't wait until then. I will be 12.1 weeks and I get to have an u/s. Can't wait! I just want to know if this baby is OK. I can hear the heart beat with the Doppler but I just am nervous and I am not sure why? I guess, I am just worried more about this one because of it being conceived naturally. I just didn't think that it was possible for me and Carl!!! Oh well 4 days. I have 199 days left till due date!

I will be posting some pictures of Ashton today. He got his first major boo boo on his face Monday. So I am going to post pictures of that and of the parade we were in last Sat. Right now it is 5:30am and well, I just can't sleep but I am tired. Go figure!

Why I think this baby might be a Girl

2007-10-19T13:14:00.000-07:00

Yes I think that it is a girl. I have been wrong with both Lorna and Ashton so my chances of getting this one right are at 50%! LOL Anyway, I have decided that this is a girl because of the post coital test showing Carl's troopers "swim for the light" this one trooper said "Your not right! Its this way! Its my way or the highway" This trooper makes it to its destination. (Maybe she pulled over and asked for directions!)Only a girl would be able to do these things! Not to mention we are finding the heartbeat with the doppler and she is fast-170-175 like Lorna was. Ashton was 150-155. Plus we find her very very low (yes I know I am early but sometimes I find her behind my pelvic bone!)like Lorna and Ashton was high. I guess we will find out in a matter of months!

Out of Work!

2007-10-16T15:09:00.000-07:00

This morning I had such a problem with my sugar that I called Carl and told him that I wasn't going to be able to work anymore. I was soooo crying. With Ashton's pregnancy I had afflac. I didn't sign up for it this year because with Schneider to be elligble for short term disability you have to have 18 months of consecutive work. This was Sept for me. We thought it would be stupid to sign up and pay for a service that could only be good for 3 months. Oh Well, God has got to have a plan for us 'cause nothing brings this kind of miracle to us and with such a surprise.

Don't Forget to Light Your Candle!

2007-10-15T15:12:00.001-07:00

Today is infancy loss awareness day. Normally, Carl and I release balloons to Lorna. This year we are lighting a candle in her memory. I still miss my little girl. I will always wonder what she would have looked like, what she would be like. She should be 2 now. I wonder how the terrible two's would have been to her and to us. I know her purpose in our life but it still doesn't make losing her any easier. Even though this Feb will mark 3 years I still remember the loss like it was yesterday.

We love you Lorna and miss you dearly. Not a day goes by that we don't think of you. Please watch over Ashton and your new brother or sister to be.
Love you
Mommy and Daddy

Still Can't believe

2007-10-15T13:33:00.000-07:00

I am still having a hard time accepting that I am pregnant. It just doesn't seem right. I never in a million years would have thought that Carl and I would get the "FREEBIE" pregnancy. I used to pray to God for this baby. A baby that could come to us for free. Now that it is here well, I just still don't believe. I am picking the heart beat up with the doppler that we have and everytime I am just thinking to myself "I must be dreaming"

I used to hate it when people would say to me after Ashton was born that now you are going to get pregnant on your own. I hated it. I don't ovulate. (Well, apparently I do every now and again) Carl and I had a post coital test that showed 0 of his troopers made it to their destination. The odds of this happening to us were like 1 in a billion. Even more so that Carl and I haven't had alot of sex in the past couple of months. It just is a plain miracle that 1 on Carl's troppers found its way and that there was an egg there for them. I go through this alot in my head these days and I just can't believe.

14 days to u/s. Maybe this will help me but the first one sure didn't. I am still finding it hard to just believe in a miracle.

Everything seems to be OK

2007-10-09T15:02:00.000-07:00

No, I didn't get the u/s liked I had hoped. However, the GD is back. Go Yuck Diet! I hate most of the foods on the GD diet but anything for a baby. I am still having a very hard time believing in this-that I am pregnant. I am greatful though that we were able to pick up the baby's heartbeat with our doppler. At least, I know that everything seems ok for now. I have an appointment in 3 weeks with my high risk dr. I will get an u/s then. So for now the countdown begins. 21 days left until I see this baby again!

Nervous

2007-10-08T16:04:00.000-07:00

I have an appointment tomorrow with the nurse practioner. This is just so I can get a referral to the perinatologist. I think this is a money making scheme! Anyway, I am scared to death that I will go tomorrow and there won't be a heartbeat ect.... I hope that she at least looks at my little one with the u/s. I won't know till then but I am a nervous wreck because of it. I guess, when you have been in a situation like Carl and I that the fear of loss never leaves. My family is so positive about the outcome because this one was conceived naturally. I wish that I could just feel this way. I don't. I know all the things that can go wrong. I hope above hope that they are all right and my fear is just fear.

U/S photos!

2007-09-30T14:33:00.000-07:00

Well, There he she is. Can you believe it cause I certainely can't!

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-09-29T18:23:00.000-07:00

I AM PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ALL NATUAL USED NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I used Provera Sept 5 thru the 15th to make my period come around. I haven't had one since july 23 which isn't unsual for me. I saw DR I on sept 4 I had an u/s at that time and he didn't see anything. I went in last week and they told me to wait another week and then call. Yesterday I was busy and forgot to call. For some reason I thought I might just be pregnant so I took a test this morning and it was positive right away!! I called DR I and he was out of town so I talked to the DR on call. Because of my history and an ectopic I aroused her curiosity. She called in for me to have an HCG quantitive level. She told me that if it was high enough she would do an u/s. IT WAS 56000!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had the u/s and it is in the uterus and has a Heart beat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am 7w5d!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!OMG
Does God have a sense of humor or what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I will post pictures of the u/s tomorrow.

Sad News

2007-09-26T17:05:00.000-07:00

I am really sorry to tell you that Holly lost the baby. She was 12 weeks along. I know exactly how they feel. I just don't understand why it happens.

Its Been a Very Bad Day

2007-09-19T12:32:00.000-07:00

Today at work it was announced that GM didn't renew our contract with them. Our last day of service to them will be 1/21/08 (Ashton's birthday!) I am really unhappy. I have a schedule. I know when I am going into work ect... These things are just not easy to come by in the trucking industry. I do hope that the next contractor (Chopper Express) will hire me and Carl for the same pay and keep us doing our current jobs. I am terrified that we would lose money. We probaby will. :(

I am going to be an Aunt!

2007-09-08T21:28:00.000-07:00

I got a call from Carl's mom Lorna today to tell us that Holly is pregnant. This is Carl's brother's girlfriend! I do hope that she has an uneventful pregnancy. She goes in next week for an ultrasound to see how things are and how far along she is. She may have very well conceived here in America!! If this is so Carl and I think that she should name the baby a red neck West Virginia name! LOL I am so happy for them.

Vacation Photos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-08-27T14:51:00.000-07:00

What a good photo to start with! We were coming home from the airport and Ashton just wouldn't stop so I took a bribe photo for when he is much older!!

Gramie and Ashton at Dullus Airport 8/18/07

"Are we there yet" 8/18/07

Dina and Ashton waiting for the bags 8/18/07

Helping with the bags 8/18/07

This is probably my favorite photo. He really shows his personality. 8/17/07

8/17/07

Ashton with cousin Michelle and her boyfriend Bret. 8/17/07

Leaving the beach 8/17/07

At the airport in Atlanta 8/18/07

8/17/07

Doesn't he look like he is saying "What?"

Ashton was tired and was letting us know by trying to go to sleep like that.

Ashton likes to float on his back.

Daddy and Ashton 8/17/07

8/17/07

Gail and Ashton 8/17/07

8/17/07

8/17/07

Mommy and Ashton 8/17/07

Destin Commons 8/16/07

Gail, Ashton and Daisy 8/16/07

Ashton 8/17/07

Ashton and Lilly. 8/16/07

Gail and Ashton 8/17/07

We went to the Gulfarium while we were there. Ashton loved the sea lions! 8/13/07

We went to the Air Force Museum that was there. Ashton really liked it. It was kind of funny cause he couldn't decide where to go to first. He would take one step and then 2 steps in the other direction. 8/14/07

There is a shopping Mall down there called Destin Commons. They have a play area for the kids and water to run through. Ashton had a good time. 8/16/07

This is Ashton running in the water at Destin Commons. 8/16/07

Destin Commons. 8/16/07

Carl and Ashton in Gail's backyard. 8/12/07

Ashton's first dip into the ocean! 8/12/07

Carl and Ashton on the beach. 8/12/07

Ashton really like the sand 8/12/07

Me and Ashton at the pool at the beach. 8/12/07 It was like bath water!

This is Ashton on our first day of vacation 8/12/07. He got into Gail's dog (daisy) kennel!

Happy Anniversary!

2007-08-08T13:13:00.000-07:00

Today Carl and I have been married for 14 years. I just can't believe it. Sounds like a long time ago but it doesn't feel that way. WOW is all I have to say about it. There are no words for me to describe it. Other than 14.........
Here are some wedding photos 8/8/93

Its funny cause every time I look at these photos I just can't believe how much Carl and I have changed.

My heart is Sad

2007-08-05T07:06:00.003-07:00

Carl's family left on Friday. We were so hoping that they would be asked to give up there seats but it wasn't meant to be. I am just sad. I didn't get enough time with them. I couldn't get off from work but only last Monday to spend time with them. I didn't want them to leave at all. We all cried. It was a terrible goodbye. Carl and I cried on the way home from the airport.

Carl and I have been married for 14 years on the 8th of this month. In that time I have met his mother only once before and I have never met his brother. I wish it wasn't so expensive to fly to England. Carl hadn't seen his brother in 17 years! I was glad to met him and his girlfriend Holly. They are really great people. Yes I love my in-laws! It won't be to long next time. In 2 years we are going to meet up in Orlando Fl to go to Disney.

Carl's brother built us a deck while he was here. Well, built it in just 2 days with labor help from Carl and my brother-in-law Lance. Carl's mother wouldn't even let us pay for it! Kenneth is a carpenter. It is the best gift ever! I couldn't have asked for anything more! I love it. I now sit outside and think about them and miss them. I have been very teary eyed since Friday.

Here are photos of everyone from Friday. I don't think they were happy at all. I was at work.
Grannie and Ashton

Kenneth, Carl, Lorna and Ashton.

Kenneth, Holly, Lorna, Ashton and Carl

Photos while they were here.

2007-08-05T06:54:00.001-07:00

Grannie gave Ashton a cookie on the way home from Luray. We drove back on Skyline drive. It was a great day.

Gail and Ashton. This is Ashton's favorite place to be the mower!

Grannie had to stand up while giving Ashton a bath because he was getting her soaked!

Isn't he just getting so big!

Photos of the Deck and other photos

2007-08-05T06:41:00.001-07:00

Here is the deck almost finished.

This is Kenneth. He is the one who built the deck with help from Carl and brother-in-law Lance

We went to Luray Caverns last Monday here is a picture of Ashton who like looking.

The view from the deck.

From left to right Ashton, Carl, Holly, Kenneth, Lorna, Lance, and Gail

Carl's Family is here!

2007-07-25T13:16:00.000-07:00

Grannie got Ashton this bike. He really love it!

This is Carl's Mom and his brother's girlfriend Holly.

Isn't he just to cute!!! He is getting so big!

This is Holly, Kenneth -Carl's brother- and Gail -Carl's sister. She is here from FL

Ashton as you know loves the mower and wasn't happy that his uncle took it for a spin and didn't take him along. Ashton is calling him MOW!

More Pictures!

2007-07-17T14:40:00.000-07:00

Blogger wouldn't display my photos when I was trying to put them up so I didn't quite know where to start typing so I will just do it at the bottom! Aston climbed into his intellitaner himself. He was having so much fun with it. I have never took it away cause he still plays with it. I can take the seat out but I use it to store toys in the living room. Yesterday Ashton took all of them out and climbed right in. He couldn't get out of it so he looked at me and said "Stuck" It was so cute. You can see just how tall he is now in those pictures. The other pictures are from Sat. Ashton was sleeping with his daddy and him playing out in our yard.

Getting Excited

2007-07-14T04:56:00.000-07:00

Carl's mother, brother and girlfriend will be here next Friday from England. I am so excited. I have never met his brother and Carl hasn't seen him in about 17 years. Carl's mother I have only met once before in 2002 (I think that was the year) It should be a great visit! Carl's sister Gail is coming up from Fl on Friday as well. I am going to have a house full! I need to get cleaning! I do hope that they have a great time while they are here and that they have a safe trip flying here! I can hardly wait to see them! Carl is on vacation the second week they are here but I couldn't get my vacation at the same time. I did get to have one day extra off while they are here. My shift isn't to bad though. I work 5am to 2pm so at least I will have all afternoon and evening with them.

We have been working 12 hour shifts again. It is good money but we only get to see each other for an hour or 2 a day. Carl feels like he doesn't get to see Ashton at all when we are on these shifts (he works the night and I work the day time). For me I just get tired and it takes so long for me to feel better after we are off of them.

Today my sister and family are going to Akron Oh for the All American Soap Box Derby Race. My sister is the director of the local race here in Martinsburg so she is going to support the winners. We placed 2nd and 3rd in the Masters Division but only the winner qualifies for the Akron Race. They had a big send off for them at McDonald's yesterday. They picked them up at the Mall and drove them to McDonalds via a 18 passenger stretch limo (expidition) It was fun for them. I took Ashton but he didn't like Ronald (LOL)He had a good time with all of the kids there. Hope we do well at the race. Last year, our local masters champ won the race. It was amazing! I do hope that we have another champ from Martinsburg. Good luck to them. I do hope they have a safe trip out there.

Happy 4th of July and Happy Birthday Carl

2007-07-04T16:51:00.001-07:00

Yes today is Carl's birthday. He turned 40 today. Here are some pictures and a video clip. All of Ashton of coarse!! My sister Dina is with Ashton in the pool and in the background you can see Robin Ashton's godmommy(blonde) and Alana Ashton's NaNa.
Also I wanted to let you know that if the music of the slide gets on your nerves there is a mute button on the bottom left corner of the slide. Hope everyone had a great holiday

Ashton's First Swim Lesson

2007-07-03T13:41:00.000-07:00

It was yesterday. He loved it. He wanted to get in the pool immediately and was mad that we had to wait for the teacher. When we left we had to carry him out. He was screaming mad. He wanted to stay longer even though he was already a prune! Hope you enjoy the videos The first one is when we just got started and the other was at the end of the lesson

Lorna's Due Date

2007-07-02T01:33:00.000-07:00

Today I should be looking at a little 2 year old girl. I still think of her and miss her. I am thankful for all that she did do. She made it possible for Ashton to get here. I know that she looks over him everyday. Please look at her video if you want to remember my little girl. The link is on the side at the bottom.
We love and miss you Lorna
Mommy and Daddy

Kissing the Reflection Video

2007-07-01T14:08:00.000-07:00

Hope you like it!

Pictures from Today

2007-06-24T15:23:00.000-07:00

After all was said and done this is how I found him! He was so tired! LOL

Ashton was helping his Daddy! He also saw a plane and made sure we knew about it!

Being a bad blogger

2007-06-21T16:17:00.000-07:00

Well, I now have a myspace web page. I still dont like the photos over there. There is a really nice slide roll there of mine to look at. I will have to play around with it. I don't think that I can ever move from this web page. It was the one I started after I lost Lorna. It is apart of me. I am writing on both pages LOL. I guess you have to visit both of them now. I am not sure how many of my friends still come here since I don't write often and don't have time to visit everyone else's pages too. Oh well, here is the other page address http://www.myspace.com/infertile2mommy At least go there to look at my pictures of Ashton's life!

Long overdue update!

2007-05-19T05:11:00.000-07:00

I don't have to much time lately. Ashton really keeps me busy and when I do have time I just feel like sitting still! LOL I am not liking this new blogger and I am thinking of moving out. I will let you all know if I do. I have a terrible time with the photos now and they never post where I want them to so I think I am going to have to move. Anyway the photos are Easter and Ashton cousin Trinton's birthday (he is almost to the day 3months younger than him.)

Its been forever!

2007-04-21T03:15:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't updated in a long time!! Sorry. The best way to describe the end of Feb, March and the first three weeks of April is....... Sick..... I have been sick in one way or another. I had a cold which gave me an ear infection and it took six weeks and three different antibiotics before it went away and then last week..... another cold..... which is now bronchitis. This weather has been terrible. Twenty degrees in the morning and 40 - 50 in the afternoon or heck we have even had snow in the last week or so. Where is spring? It feels more like fall. Ashton and Carl both have been sick as well. I will try to update with photos and such when I am feeling better.

Ashton sleeping

2007-02-24T08:39:00.001-08:00

Giving this a try too. Here is a video of my guy on his roller coaster that he got from NaNa and Grandad for Chrismas.

Figured out the photos!!

2007-02-24T08:10:00.000-08:00

This photos was just from a day ago. I took his clothes off and let him feed himself. He didn't do a bad job at all and he loved it! The picture below is just cute! LOL The doll in the background is wearing his coming home outfit! My baby isn't a baby anymore!

I love this one it looks like he is saying "I got it Mommy"

Yes he is walking and walking well!

This is the loot from his birthday party. He got so much stuff!! (again)

He was more interested in the shiny tissue paper than what was in the bag!

This was his cake.

But he had a cake all to his own too!

Just getting started!

The decorations!

The snow!

So I am going to hit you with alot of them!! Here are photos from his birthday! That was the beginning of the snow!

Happy Angel Birthday Lorna

2007-02-08T12:44:00.000-08:00

Mommy and Daddy miss you so much. We love you always. It is to cold for us to send you balloons today. We will as soon as it is a little warmer outside. Happy 2nd Angel Day.

Having Trouble!

2007-01-31T14:57:00.000-08:00

I upgraded my blog for the new format but now I can't get my photobucket account to connect. I deleted it like photobucket told me to do to try and reset it up again but now it says user name and password are invalid!! Don't know what to do. I want to show you pictures of Ashton's first birthday party!! Anyone know what I am doing wrong??

Happy Birthday!!!!!

2007-01-21T16:20:00.000-08:00

OMG He is one!!!!!!!!!!!! That year went by so fast! His party was great. I was getting worried that no one was going to show up. His party was suppose to be at 4pm but after it started snowing, we called everyone to come early! We had 21 people come even with the snow. Carl went and picked up my sister and her clan. We had a great time.

Can't believe it!

2007-01-20T02:24:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow, Ashton is one. Where did the year go? This time last year Carl and I were so nervous. Ashton's heart rate had dropped so and we had gone to L&D on the nineteenth but the DR on call didn't want to induce me and we were sent home to wait for my appointment in the morning. I remember it all so well and just like it had happened yesterday. At 11:00am is when the DR started the pitocin to make my labor start. My baby is just not a baby anymore.

His birthday party is tomorrow and I will post pictures tomorrow evening sometime. Hope everyone is well!

He took his first steps!

2007-01-11T12:51:00.000-08:00

We are so excited! He took them for his aunt and uncle. So both carl and I missed them but he did take them for us too. I can't believe that in just 10 days he is going to be one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!! Where did the time go!

Happy New Year!

2007-01-01T04:45:00.000-08:00

Last night marked the end to one of the best years of my life. The new year always for me brought with it hope. Hope that I would get pregnant and have a child. Well, 2006 was that year for me. Twenty-one days into 2006 I had my child I so dearly hoped to have. I watched him grow and learn so many new things. What a blessed year 2006 was for us. Joy, I think best describes what I felt as I watched 2006 come to an end.

Please Scan down.

2006-12-30T04:30:00.000-08:00

The posts were posted in opposite order and I don't know how to change them. My update post is at the bottom.

Just to tired to take anymore!

2006-12-30T04:28:00.000-08:00

I don't want to eat!

2006-12-30T04:27:00.001-08:00

You know Dad this is stupid clothes!

2006-12-30T04:27:00.000-08:00

Who is that?

2006-12-30T04:26:00.000-08:00

Got my first set of wheels!

2006-12-30T04:25:00.000-08:00

Daddy I am still playing with the last gift!

2006-12-30T04:24:00.001-08:00

Ashton opens first gift with Cousin Ian

2006-12-30T04:24:00.000-08:00

The pile of presents

2006-12-30T04:23:00.000-08:00

One of many times we had to say "No" to Ashton

2006-12-30T04:22:00.000-08:00

This is our tree.

2006-12-30T04:21:00.000-08:00