My mother felt Ashton move last night!

She was so excited. Ashton had the hiccups so it was easy to catch a movement. This is my father and mother last christmas.

Another DR's Appointment Down!

It was a really fast appointment. The nurses did my measurement which was right on target! They listened in for baby. I knew he was there, I listen before I go to the DR. My OB came in asked if I had any questions. I told her that I was starting to get crampy sometimes which she told me is normal for this time and that I needed to increase my water intake. She wasn't concerned. She said if I started to have them on a regular basis she wanted to know. She upped my insulin again. Not surprised. My numbers have been starting to go up in both the morning and at night. That was it. I am scheduled for my next ultrasound on November 11!! Can't wait to see him again!! Also yesterday marked 99 days to go!! Very exciting for me because I just never allowed me to think that this baby may make it. It is very very exciting.

Here is my Halloween Photo!!

One year ago.....

We found out that we were pregnant with Lorna. I remember this day vividly. I got up early in the morning to go and get my blood drawn. We waited forever for the dr's office to call. At 3:45 I ended up calling them. They close at 4:00. The nurse said to me that the DR had ordered more tests. I thought well, that can't be good. At 4:10 the dr called to say it was positive. That everything including the progesterone looked good. I got off the phone with him and told Carl. We were so happy. We hugged each other and cried. It was one of the best days of my life. I am a little sad today knowing that I should have a 3 month old baby girl.

Yikes!! My 24.2 week belly!!!

I didn't realize just how much I had grown till I compared the last photo 9 weeks ago!!

Oct 15. Infancy loss awareness day.

I bought 2 ballons. One for each of our losses.  I would love to believe that they sailed up into heaven and they have their ballons. We let them go last night. It was really nice. The moon was shining and it would catch the silver in the ballons and it looked like a little beacon light. We watched until we saw them no more.

Carl was in a parade Sat.

He was pulling the winners of the local soap box derby race. Taylor Garvin and Cody Brindle. He had our truck so shinny!!!

Do you think there is room on the bed for us??

Keep in mind too that I have 2 other cats that aren't on the bed!!

OK OK I didn't post all week!!!

I didn't have an exciting week until Friday. Friday comes along and we are having really hard rain! (left over Tammy) Anyway, our power goes out before I had breakfast so I am going into town to get something to eat. I get in the car and remember I don't have my insulin with me. Well, I get out of the car and lock it with the keys inside. Ok I didn't lock the house!! (I always lock but for some reason didn't) Well, my cell phone is in the car and we don't have a land line phone. All cordless. I walk to my neighbors house and ask to use her phone. It took me like 15 mins to get through to my Dad who happens to be a locksmith!!! Lucky me! He would probably would charge an arm and a leg. I live 17 miles from town!!! That was my exciting Friday!

Sunday I go to church and bawl through all of it! It was a day to recognize children in churches all around the world. My minister is an infertile herself. She had to have a ovary removed when she was 17 and the other doesn't work. She tells the story of accepting her infertility. This is something I hope that I don't ever have to do. She also is telling everyone to remember those children that God loved before they knew his name. I am thinking of Lorna and the water works begin.

She also tells a story of Ollie. This is a boy she met in Jamaica. He has Hydrocephalus. He is an orphanage that doesn't even have diapers. The caretakers tell her that he hasn't spoken but they are hopeful that he will. She is holding him and he says "Wah Wah" She says that everyone knows that means water! She gives him some water and he drinks and drinks. He then lays his head on her shoulder and says "Ma Ma" Ok might just be pregnancy hormones but now I am truly crying. I know I am starting to make a scene! The program ends with the number of children living in poverty in America, how many children are abused, how many women or teens can't afford prenatal care, how many children are born to teens. The list went on and on.

Yes in my sorrow there is great joy for the life that is growing inside of me but I can't help to think about all the children every where that don't have enough to eat or are abused. I don't understand why God allows this to happen. Why so many of us that want children can't or miscarry. God said bring the little children to him when it wasn't accepted to do this. Why does God allow bad things to happen to the children here? I know this question won't be answered but it is something that I think about a lot.

Carl felt the baby move!!!

Finally, last night Carl felt the baby move. I have been able to see him move since last week. We have been trying for the last week but every time Carl put his hand on my belly, Ashton would stop moving. Ashton was moving a lot last night and when Carl tried he felt him move. It was very exciting for Carl. He was so happy.

Ashton's room is done!!

Carl worked really hard this weekend to get it finished. It looks so much better than I thought it ever could. Even after Carl spilt a whole gallon of paint on the floor! We did get it up. You can see it if you are looking for it. We will wait on new carpet until he is older! I am sure we will need to by the time he is 5! Sorry the pics aren't that great. This is the furniture (crib and dressar) that we had bought for Lorna. I am so happy Carl went ahead and got it done. It does make me nervous that it is done!!!

The diaper changing/ dressar

We have to take this back. The leg is broken on it. They are going to reorder another one for us so we can excange it. The box wasn't damaged so it went into the box that way at the factory. The doors were also hanging off. Carl put them back on. We just wanted to get the room together.

This is Carl's Grannies Chair!!

Another appointment!

I had another appointment today. Everything looks really good! My Dr peaked in with the u/s machine. She said everything looks great! Heart was pumping away!! I looked at the picture on the screen and I would swear he had his feet by his ears! LOL Anyway, she asked if she had told us the sex or not and I said yes. She said he is a definitely little boy! I guess he was showing his stuff! I feel very excited and nervous all at the same time. I am scared to be excited!

Growing Pains!

I have them! They are freaking me out for the most part. Thank God for the Doppler. I called the DR to be sure that what I was feeling was round ligament pain! They assured me that is what I am feeling. I sure wish I could not be in such a state of constant panic. It is extremely hard not to worry about every ache and pain but I sure am. I only have 19 more weeks of this worry. Then I get to worry on a whole new level!

Halfway!!!

Well, yesterday anyway! I can't believe that I made it to this point. I am very excited about being here. I am still very much terrified that we can lose this one too. My and DH's guard is still up. I just got an email from baby center about signing up for birthing classes. Am I wrong does this seem just a tad bit early?? Any advice would be nice. I wanted to make a post yesterday but I was so busy trying to get the house straight and get us packed so we could go racing this weekend.

We got up at 2:15am. We have a four hour drive ahead of us! It is tiring to race this way but we are trying not to spend so much money. We get over to my mother's house and switch to our truck (that was hooked to the trailer yesterday). We get in and go. We aren't even to the interstate yet and WHAMMMM!!!!! Deer ran out in front of us and we centered it with our truck! YUCK!! Well, we get to the place where we are meeting my sister and we can smell something burning (probably just fur) The deer pushed our bumper into the grill some and we were afraid that we have damage to the radiator. There wasn't anything leaking yet that we could see but it was so dark and well we just didn't want to take the chance that the truck might break down away from the house! WE DIDN'T GO! I AM SO DISAPPOINTED! I LOVE RACING!

Today is the day!!

I am 19 weeks and 2 days along. This is the day that I have been so scared of because this is the time that I lost Lorna at. I haven't posted much here or anywhere all week long just trying to deal with my nerves. I know that everything on the 2nd looked great with Ashton but they did with Lorna and we lost her 10 days later. So I have been using my doppler about 4x a day!! Just for reassurance and the DR even said that I could! Anyway, I woke up last night at 2am and checked to be sure he was still with us and he was. I woke up again at 7am and checked again and he is still here. Tomorrow I am treading on fresh waters! I do hope that I can let go of some of these fears and truly enjoy this pregnancy. When you have lost like we have the innocence of pregnancy is gone and fear of the unknown becomes what you think about.

Everyone I would like for you to see

Ashton Lee Pleasants. Yes we are having a boy. This u/s sound today was sooo amazing. We got to see him move (something Lorna didn't do for us) Everytime the tech went to take a picture, he moved. She thought that is was going to be a gril but he showed himself for the dr when she came in!! My Dr also thinks that this baby is extremely healthy and looks good. She understands that it is our loss time(about) and was willing to see me next week just so that it would calm my fears. However I turned that down because we have the doppler at home. She said she felt like this baby was going to make it. I am calm today but I will go back to worring tomorrow!

This is my beautiful profile

At the bottom you can see my feet. I had them crossed

This is looking down at my skull