I am finally back to my RE DR. I was glad to finally see him. It was kind of sad because I really didn't want to see him until I was carrying in our little girl to show her off. Anyway, we had a long hour and half visit. The autopsy report was back and our little girl was very much normal. The only culprit was the blood clots in the placenta. He tells me next time I will be on Heprin Shots. I am OK with that. I will do anything to get a baby here healthy and happy and of coarse Alive!!
We ask him about my sister possibly being a surrogate for me. He said he normally doesn't do it because of the legalities of it. He is going to consider it because she is my sister and where she lives. He knows a Dr where she lives that he has worked with in the past. I hope he says yes. Surrogacy maybe our only hope. I am willing to try again though even if I lose another like the last. I promise to love the baby each and everyday no matter the outcome.
Finally he does and exam and low and behold I have ovulated he thinks. I have endometriosis which it could be as well. He even did a pregnancy test (pee) I almost laughed. Wouldn't that be ironic if I was! It of coarse was negative. He said my lining was thick but looked ok. There were no cysts on the ovaries. He said we can work on the cycle after next. We leave the DR's office very up beat about giving IVF another try.
Tuesday I had the lab drawn to check for the progesterone, pituitary gland (I am still lactating from miscarriage) and an A1C for the diabetes. I called today to get results. Well, progesterone is up so I can't have the cycle chemically induced. I have to wait for the cycle to start naturally. My body doesn't do anything naturally! He also says that he thinks we should wait an additional cycle before attempting the IVF. He wants to check me 7 days after this cycle starts and then make the call. Well negative just entered the building. I now picture it being July when I was due before we can try.
I am now so upset and I don't know what to do with myself. There is nothing I can do. I just have to wait. I have been doing this for 11 years now and you would think that I would be good at the waiting thing but with each passing month I get worse. It seems the longer I wait the more impatient I get. The more frustrated I get. I just can't even put into words how much it hurts me to have to wait another month. I may not have to but I will plan for the worse. That is what always seems to happen.
Anyway the pituitary gland and the diabetes are normal. I am trying to end this on a positive note but for me right now, being positive about anything is just a dream.
2 comments:
Hi Heather,
I came to you via pregnancy weekly.
I am sorry you are going through this. (((hugs)))
Martie
Hi Heather, My name is Suellen and I'm from Pregnancy weekly. I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you.....I had a GIFT procedure done through my RE and lost my twin boys at 24wks. Alexander lived for 12hrs and Christopher lived for 6 days. I went on to have another GIFT procedure and had a healthy baby boy who is now eight. I also had a FET (frozen embryo transfer) and had a m/c at six weeks. I then had another FET and gave birth to a beautiful baby girl who is now six. Then low and behold on our own six years later I found out that I was pregnant on my own! I just had my son who was born prematurly at 34wks. He's doing great now and is almost five months old. I"m so sorry for your loss. 'There is a hole in my heart for my twin boys that will NEVER go away......I know your pain yet I know the need to try again! I only waited three months after losing my twin boys to try to get pregnant again. If you would ever like to talk my personal email is Day1dreamer@msn.com Sorry for rambling on and on just wanted to let you know that you are not alone!
hugs sue
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