Nervous

I have an appointment tomorrow with the nurse practioner. This is just so I can get a referral to the perinatologist. I think this is a money making scheme! Anyway, I am scared to death that I will go tomorrow and there won't be a heartbeat ect.... I hope that she at least looks at my little one with the u/s. I won't know till then but I am a nervous wreck because of it. I guess, when you have been in a situation like Carl and I that the fear of loss never leaves. My family is so positive about the outcome because this one was conceived naturally. I wish that I could just feel this way. I don't. I know all the things that can go wrong. I hope above hope that they are all right and my fear is just fear.