Tuesday, June 21, 2005

I was terrified of seeing her again....

I was so scared to walk thru those doors. The last time I saw her she was delivering the bad news that Lorna had gone on to Heaven. I swallowed my fears and entered in. As I was sitting in the waiting room (this took me by surprise) I was getting angry at seeing all the other women in there with big bellys. All I was thinking was that should have been me! Even though I am pregnant I just couldn't help but think about where I should have been.

Anyway, she didn't do an exam or anything she just wanted to talk to me and make sure I was emotionally ok to go back to her. Did I blame her? I think was the question on her mind. I don't I have come to terms with it was going to happen. Lorna just wasn't suppose to be my earth child. She was meant for greater things in Heaven. She discussed the Gestational Diabeties again. She has stuck me back on the diet! Yuck! I love pasta and breads!! Not on that diet at all! Anyway I gotta do what I gotta do. I have to start taking my surgars now 4x a day. and mail them into her once a week. She says that I will probably have it again. She is going to keep me on the Heprin and not change it to Lovenox. I am happy about that too. My next appointment with an u/s will be July 11.

4 comments:

Jenna said...

Heather,
I guess it is nice that she wanted to talk to you. I know that some women like going to the same dr after a loss because they say the dr takes it personally and really does everything they can for the next time to suceed. I know it wasn't her fault but it would be nice to know that she would do anything she can.
I hope that the Dr's visit wasn't to bad. I know it must be hard to see all the other women.
I still miss you and I hope all is well.
Jenna

Liz said...

I know going there was very difficult. I think its good that you met with the dr so soon and I know everything will work out. Good luck with the diet.

Heather said...

I think it is a good thing that you and the doctor worked things out. It may give you a relationship that will be well worth it. I'm sorry about the diet change, I know that must suck. In the end, though, it is all worth it. Take care of yourself!!

Heather M.

Jenn said...

I think it is good thatyour doc took the time to talk to you - it shows that she has some compassion and bedside manner.
I can't imagine how nervous you were!

Good luck with the diet and remember - All for Baby!

Talk to you soon.