Please Scan down.

The posts were posted in opposite order and I don't know how to change them. My update post is at the bottom.

Just to tired to take anymore!

I don't want to eat!

You know Dad this is stupid clothes!

Who is that?

Got my first set of wheels!

Daddy I am still playing with the last gift!

Ashton opens first gift with Cousin Ian

The pile of presents

One of many times we had to say "No" to Ashton

This is our tree.

Going to overload you!

Sorry I haven't updated in so long, alot has happened this month. So here we go. I haven't felt like updating. I was so sad to see Lisa lose her baby. She is blaming herself because they don't know why she lost her. Lilly's funeral was over a thousand dollars! I think their should be a discount when things like this happen. It is hard enough to deal with the loss and then to have to pay that amount! I wish their was some magic word I could say to her to make her feel better but it just isn't so.

Carl's sister Gail was here for Thanksgiving. It was fun to have her here. This is when we did all our shopping for Christmas! Gail loves to shop! We bought to much for Ashton. It was just so much fun to go and buy for Christmas this year. We had a reason to shop. Carl and I rarely exchanged gifts at Christmas because we take that money and spend it on someone else. We always had someone that we gave a big gift to. This year it was definately going to be Ashton!

We went on our trip to NYC. It was great fun. However, I didn't take my camera with me. I didn't want to carry it with me. We didn't have much time to do hardly anything but walk. We went to Madison Square Garden (this is where we were dropped off), Time Square, Ground Zero and Rockerfeller Center. This best part of this trip was the cab ride to Rockerfeller Center!! It was like being on a roller coaster. LOL We were in the back with our hands up in the air! We had a great time. We were surprised to feel so comfortable on the steets of NYC. By the way it was freezing there!!

Ashton got a cold the Tuesday before Christmas. He was so sick. He ran a temp of 103.7! Nothing was working not even a cool bath so I called the dr at night and he told me to give him children's motrin which worked on bringing down the fever. He is still congested but he is dealing better with his cold than Carl. Carl got the cold for Christmas day! Knock on wood I still don't have it yet!

We had a nice Christmas with Ashton. He wasn't really interested to much in opening anything at all. He did like his toys that he got. The biggest hit was his roller coaster that NaNa and Granddad got for him. Believe it or not I don't have any photos of him on it yet! I will have to take one if I remember to. He was overwhelmed with the people and stuff. I did take photos of Christmas!

We took off the day after Christmas. I wanted to get my house clean! Our tree was falling down. With Ashton pulling on it and the cats climbing it, it looked really sad. For Christmas my sister cleaned my house just before Thanksgiving. (she even washed my curtains) That was the best gift I got. I felt the need to get my house back in shape. It is funny how it just falls apart like that. We brought all of Ashton's things home and well it looked like his bedroom threw-up!

On Wednesday, I went back to work while my Dad went to have surgery. He has a pacemaker that got an infection on the skin above where it is placed. Antibiotics didn't take care of it so the drs thought they would open up the skin and remove the infection. Well, as it turns out it was to much of an infection. So the drs decided they are going to replace the pacemaker and put it in a different location. They couldn't get one of the leads off of his heart so they called in a specialist who removed it. By then my dad had been under for 6 hours so they decide they were going to put a temporary pacemake in and finish up on Friday (yesterday).

Carl and I are going to go see him Wed. As we are walking into the hospital I passed out!! It was scary cause I was pushing Ashton in the umbrella stoller and I brought him down with me. He is just fine but I cracked my head a good one. It is hospital policy that if an emergency happenes outside the door an ambulance needs to be called. So I got to ride in the ambulance around the hospital! Oh I don't want to think about the bill for that!! The drs their couldn't find anything wrong with me and no I am not pregnant. That is what my mother was hoping for! Anyway, the Drs their wouldn't let me drive so I am off from work until Tuesday! (have the weekend and New Year's day off anyway). I finally got into the hospital to see my Dad on Thursday with no incidence's! LOL He did fine with the surgery on Friday and should get out of the hospital today.

Now you are up to date with my life. Told you alot has happened. I don't think I ever wrote this much but for my first post!! Here is a lot of photos!! You may have to look back a page for the pictures I am going to post!!

The post I didn't think would happen.

My friend Lisa called me today to tell me that Lilly has gone to heaven. I can't believe it. I just can't! Words can't express what I am feeling for her right now. Reasons unknown. I am in shock and I am angry. Why did she lose her? Why? It is bad enough when we experience this loss but to have to have 2 of them. I am just so sad right now. I would like for you to keep her and her family in your thoughts and prayers.

No doubt Ashton is Carl's!

This is just one of many great photos!

Wow a Month gone by!

I have been a really bad blogger lately! I am just so busy trying to keep Ashton out of things! He is on the go from the moment he wakes up until he is back sleeping again. I am only able to post this because he is now sleeping!

Let see, not much has happened! Work and life with Ashton. That about sums it up. This weekend I am going to NYC. It should be fun. I have driven through NYC more times than I care to remember but I never got to stop and visit. It is just a day trip. We will leave at 4am! and leave NYC at 7pm. This trip is just that a ride. It is up to us to do what we want when we get there. I want to see Ellis Island and Ground Zero. I would love to see a broadway show but those tickets are hard to come by and expensive! Oh how I wish FAO Swartz was still there! I will put pictures up when I get a chance to.

I have Ashtons Christmas photos and there are great! I have to work with a program to edit them that I am not used to so it may take a few days. I will post them too. We have done alot of shopping for Ashton for Christmas even though I said I wasn't going to buy much because he would be happy with just a box. Yes we have gone over board! My mother keeps reminding me that Ashton's birthday is just a month after Christmas. Like I would forget!! I am really excited about this Christmas. It will be his first and the first time in 3 years that I haven't been pregnant at Christmas. I will finally be able to enjoy the dinner!

I have been thinking of the second baby alot lately. I feel guilty for wanting another when I know so many women who haven't had their first yet. Am I wrong to want another? I love being a mom. It is the best job I have ever had. Yes, I am exhausted pretty much all the time now but I really don't care. My life is Ashton and I would love to have another. Carl and I are hoping to use our frozen embryos in the spring time. I just hope we can afford to do it. It isn't nearly as expensive to use them as it is to do all of the IVF. There are alot of women that I was pregnant with on pregnancy weekly that are now going to have their second and I am still jealous. Why is that? Infertility never ends even when you have one. It just hurts to see others get pregnant so easily. I know that other women can say that about me that the IVF took 2 times and you have one. I don't even know if any of what I have written makes sense or not. It just a feeling.

Me and Lisa!

Lisa and Ashton!

Lisa's Baby Shower!!!!

Mommy Please Get me Out of this Costume! Its Hot!

My Little Horse!

Sometimes I just want to cry!

Pregnancy Weekly went down for about a week to upgrade their system. Since it has been back up I haven't been able to post or reply to any messages. I have contacted the site to try to get them to fix this. I have had one reply to my numerous emails. Basically, I am on my own I feel like. I really want to congratulate Susan for her BFP! I am so upset and mad because for me everything was going smooth with the site and now it seem like I am just not able to join in again. I am so sad about this. I made such wonderful friends there when I was pregnant with Lorna and they so helped me during my pregnancy with Ashton. What a bummer! I do hope that I get to join in sometime. :(

Last week, when we went to the parade I for got my digital camera!! We will have to wait for the pictures to be developed for me to post pictures of my little man in his first parade. It was so funny cause the first half of the parade he slept through! I heard so many times how cute "Future Champ" was! I have to admit that I was happy to show him off. It was a proud day for me cause everyone in town could know that he was mine! I met up with a couple from the church that I grew up in (I don't go there anymore) and they were so happy for Carl and I that we finally had a baby. They knew we were having trouble. It was a really good day!

Carl and I are back to working 12 hours shifts next week again. I so wish that our account could keep drivers. It sucks being short handed and having to work so much overtime. Yes, it is great money and we can use it cause since Ashton has been born we haven't been able to save any of it! LOL however, it just makes me so tired and it seems like it takes me months to recovery from them.

Next week, I am going to Lisa's baby shower. She is a women I met from the internet. When I lost Lorna she lost her son about a month later from a cord accident. If you go into my archives into Dec 05 you will see pictures of her and I together at my shower. My sister Sue is going with my to OH. She is going to entertain Ashton for the 5-6 hour drive! I so hope that he is in a good mood! It will be an adventure I am sure. Lisa is due Jan 4, 2007! She is having a baby girl, Lilly!I am giving her all the neutral clothes that I have. She is sure that she will go early. All of her other 3 have been born at 38 weeks. If that is the case she will get the tax deduction for the year! LOL I will post pictures next weekend when I get home. This time I will remember to bring the camera! LOL

9 months old today

I can hardly believe so much time has passed. It was 2 years ago on the 23rd that we found out that we were pregnant with Lorna. Last year, on this day I was 25 weeks and 1 day pregnant with Ashton! It seems like just yesterday. Today, Ashton and I are walking in the apple harvest parade with the soap box derby association that we are involved with. Later on I will post pictures of my little man. He is getting so big!

Funny Thing

Ashton loves to scream to hear his voice. He can get really loud! He loves it even more if you scream with him! That isn't the funny part, we have 8 cats and today while Ashton was screaming the cats ears were all as far back as they could go! One of my cats, Ben was looking at Ashton like "What are you doing? Why are you doing it? and Will you please stop!" It was funny to see. I didn't have my camara anywhere near so I didn't get to take a picture!

What has been going on?

Not much! LOL Just trying to get caught up on everything. I have been on day shift now for 2 weeks and it has been great! I have never had a day shift job! It has been great to see Ashton more. I love it! I still haven't found enough energy to get into a groove yet! LOL I know I will sometime! These are the balloons that we are releasing for infancy loss awareness day. I am having trouble with being able to put a paragraph in so it is a run on! LOL

Infancy loss awareness day

My first big boy bath!!

Look at me I am 8 months old!

Work.... Work.....

That about sums up everything! That is all I seem to do lately and when I do see Ashton, I am a walking zombie! I do have some good news on the work front though....... As of next week...... I am on permanent day shift!! Yeah!! 6:30am to 3:30pm!!!!

Ashton has been waking up when I get home and I swear it is because he misses me. Last night he was so tired but chose to cry to wake himself up. I am so glad that I will be on day shift and maybe just maybe I wont' be so tired!

Finally!

Ashton rolled over today! I have been doing a lot of tummy time with him. I was starting to get a little worried! I am so excited and sad at the same time. Excited that he did it but also sad that he is growing! It is a no win situation.

Just a few pics! (Now that I can!)

So so tired!

Close up of the sleepy boy!

One tired Mommy and sleepy baby

Dinner with Daddy

The best sound in the world

It was Ashton's heartbeating. It was Ashton's first cry. Now it is the sound of Ashton saying "MAMA" over and over again!

This morning I was bombed with MAMA over and over again! Yes, I think it is official. He is saying his first word. It is wonderful and I am so thankful that he is here with me.

Ok here is another

Is is slightly blurry. It isn't your eyesight. This is Ashton in his jumperoo. He loves it!!

Our computer is up and running!!

I am so happy!!!! We finally have our computer back!!! It is great! I have lost my picture program that I am fimiliar with so I am having to use another and well it is taking some time so I will be posting more pics but it may just take me longer for now!I can't believe how big Ashton is now!

Wow!

I can't believe that it has been almost a month since I updated last! Where is time going? I can't believe how fast time is moving now! Ashton is now 7 months old. I so wish that I could share some pictures with you. Our computer is still getting worked on. The computer is now on the last phase of getting fixed so hopefully we will have it back within a week or two. I miss sharing my little guy with everyone! This computer can do the photos but it is so so slow on the upload that it may take a day or so to upload! LOL

What is going on? Not much! Work has been playing change up with my schedule so I have been so tired. I can's seem to get much done never the less get on the computer and keep everything updated! I am really sorry to everyone who comes here hoping for an update or photos. I wish I had more energy. I have none! Yesterday I cleaned the mess of a house we are living in. It seems so hard to keep it clean when all you really want to do with your free time is sleep. The bad part of this is that I am also not sleeping well. So there you have it the update is I am tired! LOL

Ashton now has 2 teeth. He is sitting up on his own but not crawling yet. This would mean that he would have to be on his belly and he hates it there! He has said "Ma" a few times so hopefully "MaMa" won't be to much longer! It is great and sad to see all at the same time. Meaning he gets older by the second and before I know it he will be moving out of the house! I love him so much and he is such a joy to have. I am grateful every day for him.

Happy Anniversary!

Tomorrow is 13 years of marriage for us. Seems like only yesterday!

Lets See .........

Sorry it has been so long since I updated! I just never seem to have the time to get on the computer anymore. I only seem to want to sleep in my free time! I work 5pm to 2am. I get home go to bed and well, pray that Ashton will let me sleep for a little while! Usually he sleeps until 9-10am. He is really a good sleeper 'cause he goes to bed at 8pm!!! I then get up with him and entertain him! Then we lay down for a nap most days. That truly is my day.

So what exciting news do I have for you....... Well, Ashton was in a car wreck. It happened on 7-20. Grandad and Nana had him for the day (family helps me out so I can get some regular sleep) They usually take my car but since Carl was in Akron Oh. For the soap box derby race I was staying at my mother's house. They usually pick him up around 10 so I just left the car seat for them to put in their car. Everyone is ok. Their car was hit in the side. The wreck did $8000 damage to their 4-runner! I am so thankful that everyone is ok and so thankful at the same time that it was their car and not mine! LOL

More exciting news is that Ashton is now over 6months in age. I just can't believe how fast he is growing. It seems like just yesterday that I found out that I was pregnant. I do a lot of thinking about what I was doing this time last year, how far along I was ect.... I just can't believe how time has flown since he got here. I know my pregnancy didn't go that fast at all. Time is really a funny thing.

Ashton rolled over once and discovered that he will get to his belly and well, I don't think he is going to do it anytime soon again! LOL He hates to be on his stomach. He now can sit up for about 20 minutes at a time before he timbers over like a tree! Yesterday we went out to eat for lunch and he used a high chair for the first time.

Ashton had a drs appt Friday and he is now 18.8 pounds and 27 3/4inches long. He had his shots and did really well. He is now eating anything that I want to introduce to him. He got carrots last night and He doesn't like them! It is funny when he doesn't want to eat something 'cause he sticks his tongue out. Maybe if I can figure out how to get this computer to work with the photos I can get a picture of it. It is so funny.

I think you are now up to date with me! I hope that I can now update more often than I have been. I have just been so tired but being a MOM is so worth it.

Sounds from the back seat

I was driving home last week and all I heard from the back seat was laughing cooing and toy noise. It was wonderful to hear. I can't even explain how I felt. I never in my wildest dreams believed I would get pregnant nor did I ever imagine having a child. I started to cry because it was a joy to hear. I love having Ashton. He is a miracle that I thank God for every day. What a blessing that I have him. I am now that women that I never thought I would be. I am the one with the miracle child. I used to be so envious of those women. The one that couldn't get pregnant and then does. I understood their story (infertility) but I was jealous of them. I never thought I could be one of them. I thought God would not bless us with a child. Now, I thank God for him everyday. (Sorry for no paragraphs but with using the old computer-------- every time I hit enter it puts me down the page)

Got a virus!

Well, we got hit with a big one and well, we don't know where it came from. The virus got into our hard drive and our computer is gone!! We are using our old one until we can afford a new one.

I will be uploading photos soon of Ashton and of our cat Sprite who we had to put to sleep last Wed. He was 21 years old. He has been with my sister for the past 8 years. One of my other cats was beating him up to bad so she took him for his protection!

Sorry for no Updates!

I can't believe that I only gave one update in June. It seems like that month just flew by! Where is time going now? I know it didn't go by this fast when I was pregnant!

Ashton is such a good baby. I have no complaints. He is just wonderful! He has his daddies attitude! It is a good thing! LOL He is growing so fast. He eats so much! LOL He is eating cereal and some fruit now. He seems to like this. I still have no photos uploaded so I made a slideroll of the ones I did have. There is a link on the side for them.

Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of when Lorna was due. I miss her still. I wish I could have 2 children right now but I know that she came to let me have Ashton. We needed to know how to get a baby here (heprin injections and such) I still wonder about her everyday. Not a day goes by that I don't think of the angel that is watching over us.

Happy anniversary Lorna. I hope you like the fireworks tomorrow. I know that you can see them from heaven.

Just thinking!

I just read Jen's blog. She is trying to lose weight with Weight Watchers. Some time ago I lost 34 pounds on it. I guess I should try to lose some weight. I was a big girl before Ashton came. I am back to pre-pregnancy weight but I should probably lose about 35 more hmmm....... I guess I never even thought about it until I read Jen's blog. I used to obsess about losing and ttc and well, ttc was put to a halt (LOL) and losing weight while pregnant (not so good) I guess what I just realized is how much Ashton has changed me all together. I think I need to start to get back to being just a little me!

We haven't changed our schedules at work yet. We had like 5 people quit so it will be a little while before I get on my new schedule. I was hoping to move soon. I am so tired all the time. Even when I am up in the morning I don't do anything. I really think my house is a mess. I just haven't' found my knatch into mothering and being a good wife too! LOL Carl does help me a lot and I am really thankful for that even if I didn't get a mother's day card. LOL I got Carl a card from me and from Ashton weeks ago! I hope he feels just a little guilty tomorrow! LOL

I have no batteries in my camera so I haven't taken any pictures of Ashton lately! I feel bad every day that I don't take a photo. I feel like I should have a photo for every day of his life. Does anyone else seem to think I am just a little crazy? LOL Sometimes I think that I might be.

Ashton hasn't rolled over yet. Most babies do about this time. I really don't think that he is going to roll. All he ever does when he is on his belly is scream. He hates it. All I can see is he sees no purpose in rolling over there. When he is on his belly he cries until he falls asleep. Any other suggestions would be nice. He is eating cereal now. He also doesn't really like this so I am adding applesauce to his mix which he seems like he tolerates it better.

I just read over the last paragraph and it sounds like Ashton is well a screamer which he is most certainly not. He is extremely happy. He just knows what he doesn't like LOL. Seriously Carl and I couldn't have asked for a better little boy then the one God chose to bless us with.

Don't seem to have much time for anything!

I can't seem to get on the computer at all here lately so I am so sorry for no update. It seems like when I have time to Ashton doesn't allow me! He starts to fuss and make a do! LOL Guess he knows now that he is ruler of this roost!

Anyway, last Monday Ashton went for his four month check-up and shots. He weighs 15lbs and 14 ozs which puts him in the 60th percentile for weight. He was 26 inches long and that puts him in the 90th percentile for height! Carl and I laugh about that cause we are both short!

These are the pictures that we had done on Mother's Day this year! I love them. Ashton didn't want to smile for anything! These were hard to get!

Me and My Mommy

One year ago today!

My little man was transferred back to me last year on this day! I know I didn't think the IVF was going to work. You can read in my archives and see that. Now look at what I got! Ashton is almost 4 months old. My how time flies when you are having fun! I love being a mom. If I could have a litter of children I would. I love how he makes me feel. I love loving him! He is such a good little man.

He has a tooth and it seems like he is getting another. So it won't be long until the toothless grin will no longer be. He is growing so fast! Last week I weighed him and he is a whooping 16 pounds! He is going to go from the 25th percentile to the 95th percentile! Everyone says that he is not fat that he is healthy. My response to that is "When we are fat as babies everyone says that they are healthy but when you get to be an adult and are fat everyone says that you are not healthy!" LOL He has a drs appt on the 23rd so we will find out then for sure. Here he is! I hate to brag but isn't he cute? LOL

Here Ashton is with his God-Mommy Robin at his first soap box race. I promised these photos the last time I posted! I have been so tired lately that when I do get a chance to be on the computer I usually just go to bed and watch TV! I wonder why I am so tired! LOL I still haven't fully recovered from the 12 hours shifts and now we are back on them for this week. So this will be the last post until the weekend for sure. Robing is a nursery nurse! She works at the hospital that I delivered at. I know that he got very good care when he was there! She loves to have him. She says that she doesn't get to see the babies grow up!

Here my grandfather and his new bride are at the baptism with Ashton. Doesn't my grandfather look like Ronad Regan? LOL Anyway, my mother was really sad moving my grandfather out of his house and into Madaline's. They are so good for one another. My grandmother passed away 4 years ago. Madaline's husband passed away 11 years ago. They met on a bus trip. They seem very happy together.

On another note, A big congratulations to Liz and Ivan for a positive test!!!! I hope that you have a very healthy and happy nine months ahead of you!!

And Another big congratulations to Lisa!!!!!!! She also got a bfp!! Some of you may know her and others may not. She is from pregnancy weekly. We got to know each other because of losing our July 05 angels. She even came to my baby shower and some may remember she gave me the stroller/car seat! I am so excited and happy for her! I hope that she has a wonderfu pregnancy!

What a week!

When we got out of church we found out that Carl cousin had her baby -boy- Trinton Jackson 7lbs 11oz 20 1/2 inches long. I wish her well. She is only 15. Then Carl and I were on 12 hour shifts all week long. I missed him so much!!! Ashton that is. Yes I saw him everyday but I felt like I was sleeping more than I was seeing him. I would get home at 4am then get myself ready for bed ect.... Ashton would be awake for a little while then go back to sleep. Then around 10am when he wakes up someone comes and pickes him up. Monday he spent with my sister Sue, Tues with my other sister Dina, Wed with Gramie, Thurs with Nana, Fri back with my sister Dina. They kept him until about 9pm so Carl could get some sleep. We both felt like we were neglating him.
Sat I get off at 4am and have to be back at work at 8am for a meeting. Ashton spent this time with my sister Dina as Carl had to be there too. We get home at 12. Then my grandfather who is 87 is getting married at 4! It was a great service even though I have only had 4 hours of sleep. I will post pictures later. I go home with Ashton and go to bed. I sleep until 6:30. Ashton got up 1x during the 12 hours for a bottle and that was it. He must have been tired too!
Sunday- Ashton goes to his first soap box race. I put on sunblock on him but he got a little sun around his eyes! I feel bad about that. Anywhoo, I am looking forward in getting caught up on pw and my blog and dh just called to say they want us to work again 12's this week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! UGHHHHHH so I am going to miss out again this week. After this week I will have done 12 12's! We are doing them again the week of May 15 so we will only have 1 week off of them instead of 2! Yes the money is great but I guess we will have to draw the line somewhere. I am missing my little man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry I wont' be around again this week!

Ashton was baptized!

I just so wanted to break down and cry tears of joy. I truly never felt like we would ever have our miracle and here he is already 3 months old. He was wide awake for the service and when it was time to get baptized he fell asleep. Terri our minister didn't want to give him back! It was all so beautiful.

This is Carl and I and Robin and Darren. They are Ashton's God parents. While we were saying our vows to God and Ashton, I just kept thinking of "Wow, We did this 9 years ago for them!" Courtney so wanted to be there. She was so upset that she couldn't come. She got Fifth's disease and wasn't allowed to attend. She was crying to me on the phone last night. She has been calling herself his God sister since she found out he was a boy! We have it on video for her to watch and at the end of the service our minister had everyone shout Hello to Courtney so she would know that we were thinking of her.

Ashton's 3 month old photo!

Boy is time flying with him! I can't believe he is 3 months old. Well as of today 3 months and 3 days. I couldn't get him to smile for the camara. He kept staring at it!

Busy week!! Sorry for no updates!

I went and saw my RE Dr last Tuesday. I saw him cause I was still bleeding from birth. I talked to him on the phone the week before. I was still passing parts of the placenta. He did an u/s and everything is ok now that I had af. There is still a little something in there but he thinks since I had af and am not bleeding anymore that it will pass on its own. He gave me Provera to regulate my cycles on my own. He said I could take it every 2 months if I wanted to. (Has to be every 2) He is such a great Dr! He went over a Frozen Embryo Transfer with me so that I would know and be ready when I am ready!! LOL I am ready now! LOL I love being a mommy and can't wait to have another miracle. IF God only grants me one I am fine with that but a second would be even better! I feel greedy wanting another when I know so many women still trying for their first and not having any luck. I have 9 frozen embryos that I think need a chance at living.

Carl's sister and brother-in-law are in from Florida so I haven't been able to get on the computer much. This is the first time that Smitty has seen Ashton. He works in Afghanistan as an outside contractor on an American base. Carl is thinking about going over there for a year and working so that I can be a stay at home mommy. I am worried about this cause he will miss so much. All of the firsts! It is great money yes but is the risk and missing so much really worth it? I really don't think so.

Sorry its been awhile!

So here he is 2 1/2 months old now. I just can't believe it! We had to buy him some summer clothes. This is just one of many that we bought. We did go over board!

This is Ashton on his first day of work! LOL He goes with my sister on Thurs. so that I can get some sleep. My sister works for my Dad so it is ok! He has been stinking up the office now for 3 weeks! Never fails if I need him to go all I have to do is send him to work. He is always so tired when he gets home. Work is so stressful!

New Pictures of my Man!!

He is 8 weeks old in these photos. The second one he is with his Aunt Sue.

Ashton's 2month appt!

Last Wednesday, Ashton had his 2 month check up with shots! First I can't hardly believe that it is 2 months already. Second, he did just fine with his shots. He cried really hard and it was over. We gave him Tylenol to prevent any spiking of fever and for pain but I don't think he needed it. He is such a calm baby. He weighed in at 10lbs and 6oz and was 22 1/2 inches long. He is in the 25th percetile for his weight and height.

I am getting used to the night shift and sleeping when I get the chance with him. Other than that, there isn't much to say!!!

My first week back at Work

As you know I started back to work on the first of March. I put my name down for the switcher position ( the job I was doing before I left just at a different location) I double checked that my hire date and seniority had not been changed. Well, they had. I was in shock and very very upset to say the least. What this means is I have lost my vacation and if anyone should bid on the same job that has more seniority then me, I wouldn't get the job.

I talked to my manager about this since we thought and I was told that I would keep it. He thought so too. He made some calls to the head office in Greenbay and was told that he could influence this. He made up a letter and gave about 6 reasons as to why I should be reinstated. As of Friday my date hadn't changed yet in the computer but all verbal indications are that everything is ok and will be changed on Mon. We will see if not I will look for another job even though I did get the switcher position.

It has been a long week. It is very hard to get sleep. Ashton is still on a 3-4 hour eating schedule and since I am working the night shift it is hard anyway. My sister and niece came up Thursday and Friday so that I could get some sleep before work. My sister even cleaned my house for me on Friday. I love her so much. She is just a great women!

Sorry to say not much else is going on! We are trying to get into a pattern of life with Ashton. It has been hard but one that I am so grateful to be on!

Going back to work today!

All I can say is that I don't want to go! It is going to be hard not so much leaving Ashton but the change in routine that I have to go through. It is going to be tough to go but after having been off from work since May 11. I guess I need to go!!

I was writing about the same thing 1 year ago. I went back to work after losing Lorna on Feb 28! Funny coincidence.

Finally!

He is fitting in the outfit I had wanted to bring him home in! It only took 5 weeks! LOL

Yesterday my blog was a year old!

I can't believe that it has been a year since I started this blog. What a year it has been!

We went to church last Sunday. My sister held him and wouldn't share him with anyone! She got sick Monday and has been very concerned that she gave him something. He has had a stuffy nose which has gotten worse this past week but I think he already had it. I put a humidifier in our room to help with his nose.

I have decided that I will go back to work this Wed and only have to deal with a half work week. I don't want to go but I think this has more to do with the fact that I have been out of work since May 11! and not the fact that I am having to leave Ashton. Carl and I are going to be working opposite shifts so we will not need my sister to watch Ashton. Even though I know she wants to watch him! I can't believe that he is already 5 weeks old.

That is about all I have in way of an update. It was a quite week. I am thankful for that. Carl took off Thurs and Fri. so that I could get some sleep!! I feel really good now.

I Can't Believe that it has been 4 weeks already!

I wish that my pregnancy had gone by that fast.

Doesn't he look like he is saying "take the picture already"

Sorry for No update!

I have just been so busy with Ashton and well, when I do have time I am just to tired! He does have his nights and days mixed up so I have been trying to get naps in the evening so I can be up with him during the night. He doesn't fuss. He is just awake! He is wonderful and beautiful and I am loving every minute of it.

Ashton is having some constipation problems. We had to give him a suppository and I felt so bad because I knew he was going to get cramps. He did move his bowels. We have been having to give him some prune juice to keep him going. He actually likes the prune juice and gulps at it! It is funny!

I called work to tell them I would like to come back to work on the 6th of March. It will be very hard for me. I don't want to leave him but I do have to go back to work! I really wish I could be the stay at home mom but we can't afford to do it. I went and had my DOT phyical done yesterday. I passed with no problems. Good! This means I don't have to have another one done for 2 years!

Congratulations to Jen on the birth of her Twins!

Ashton's First Tub Bath

This was also the first time I saw him cross his eyes!

Happy 1st Angel Birthday Lorna

Mommy and Daddy miss you! We love you!

These are the balloons we released to her.

One year ago today.

We found out that Lorna had left us. I am sad today. I know that I am blessed to have Ashton but it doesn't replace Lorna. I wonder about her. I wonder would she have been a good baby like Ashton is. I wonder what she would have been like. What she would have looked like? I know from the photos of her that she and Ashton look alike. I wonder about her all the time. Having Ashton will not replace the pain I feel about losing her.

I now know that she had a purpose in her short little life. I know that she is the reason that I have Ashton here with me. She is my beautiful angel in Heaven. I can't seem to help but cry over her and miss her and think about what might have been. I miss her. We bought balloons to release tomorrow for her and I will take photos of the balloon. I hope that she will have a beautiful birthday in Heaven tomorrow.

Always remembered and never forgotten - Lorna Ann Pleasants - A beautiful angel in Heaven! She is watching over her little brother and keeping him safe.

Changed my blog name!

If you hadn't noticed already I changed the name of the blog. I guess it needed to be done. My infertility journey is over now and I am now experiencing motherhood. I thought the name would let everyone know that having Ashton was not easy. Getting him here was not easy. Let me know what you think.

When I left the hospital my OB DR wanted me to think about the form of birth control I was going to use so that when I had my check-up (Feb 28) I could let them know. Here is my dilemma on this. It has cost us a small fortune to have Ashton. IVF's meds ect.... then once I was pregnant it wasn't easy either. However, the only time in my life that I have ever ovulated was after we lost Lorna. Should we go for the MAYBE FREEBIE???? I mean I don't want to go on the pill because I get terrible cramps on it. Yes I know that is opposite of what most experience. However I also would like to be regular! In my teens I was 2 weeks with and 2 weeks off. In my 20's I was never ending and ended with 2 d/c's because of periods that lasted over 6 months. I hit 30 and well they stopped coming altogether. I haven't had a period without some form of fertility medicine in the last 7 years. I am kind of scared to let things go and see what happens but I would also like to try for the Freebie baby. What do you all think???

One week old photo!!

Had a visit with the pediatrian yesterday. Ashton is now 7lbs and 20 inches long. He is only in the 10th percentile! Here we thought he was going to be big! Everything looks good with him and we will go back to the dr for his 8 week shots!

One day old photo!

The first week!

Ashton is really a good baby. He doesn't cry very often just when we are giving him a bath or when I am changing a diaper. He doesn't like to be naked! We have been waking him up for feedings but for some reason we are still not sleeping!

We got discharged from the hospital on Monday. They kept us an extra day because he had an episode while breastfeeding that he sucked and then forgot to breath. We also decided to supplement his breastfeeding with formula. We knew he was hungry and the colustrum wasn't enough. He does much better with the bottle. I am pumping. He latches on really well but then falls asleep almost immediately after. He had a little jaundice when we left but they were not worried about it yet. So Wednesday we went and saw the pediatrician. She said he looked really good and wasn't worried about doing another blood test to see what the levels were. After the Dr, I took him over to see the RE DR. I called him on Sat and let him know that I had my baby. He came to the hospital and saw him but wanted me to bring him by the office so the office girls could see him. He had called them and told them on Sat!

Carl has pretty much been a wreck all week long. He jumps the moment Ashton makes a noise. He hasn't been around babies to often in his life. He doesn't want to take him out of the house at all. Me? I want to show him to the world! I didn't realize how much you could love someone that is so small.

This past week has been a really big change and well, I have done a lot of crying. I am crying because I now understand why Lorna came into our lives. She came so we could have this baby here to stay with us. She sacrificed herself in order for our little boy to be here. God knew that we needed to know the IVF could work and that I needed to be on the heprin shots. I have cried for her a lot this week. Understanding the loss. I am so thankful for the angel that I have in heaven. I know that I will see her again someday. I wish that I could have had them both but God had other plans. Her birthday is coming up in just a week and a couple of days. Carl and I plan on releasing balloons again to let her know that we will never forget her.

Welcome to the world!

Ashton Lee Pleasants

6lbs 15 oz. Born 1/21/06 @ 401am.

A very tired Daddy

Very Very Proud Parents