Had an appt today!

Oops I did it again. I haven't updated! Shame on me. I have just been busy with the holiday and all. So here is the update.

We had a very nice holiday. Ashton got so many presents from our family! My mother kept asking Carl what he wanted and all he said was Ashton. My mother took it as stuff for Ashton. So on Christmas Day Carl had his shower! He was so happy.

He is still very nervous about whether or not we will be holding this baby in our arms. I will admit it, I am nervous too. After 12 years of trying to have a baby, the dream is almost here. We are scared that something will take it away from us. I guess that is what happens when you have been through all that we have been through during those years just trying to get to this point.
We are ready for him. We have his room done. My bags are packed. We are just counting down the days and waiting........ Hoping....... Praying........ That is what we have been up to I swear!

I had an appointment today. Everything looks great. Well, maybe not my weight!! LOL I have now gained 37 pounds. OUCH! I had it with the nurse practioner today. My Dr is out of town. I am measuring just fine. My urine looked good. No ketones, protein or sugar or whatever else they test if for. Everything was negative. I am starting to have non stress tests done. My next appt is Jan. 4, just a measly 8 days away and then I go back to the Dr every 3-4 days for the stress tests. They will measure the amount of amniotic fluid every now and again to make sure I am not losing any and that I am still producing fluid. I hope this makes time fly by. At least now you know I will be updating just to let everyone know how things are going.

I haven't been complaining about all my aches and pains! I am happy to have them. The only complaint that I am making is - "Is it FEB yet?" LOL

First trip to L&D!

Last night, one hour after dinner, my sugar was just a mere 38. It should be 70-140. Needless to say I wasn't feeling well at all. Well, Ashton decides he is going to sleep or hide from mommy and daddy. Carl was starting to panic so I used the doppler to let him feel better. Well, the heartbeat was there but it was slow. It was only 116. I still was calm about it. Carl wanted to go the Labor and delivery! I started to cry because I could see just how much in a panic he was in. I was crying because I didn't want to go and was thinking if I didn't go and things weren't ok then if we lost him everything would be my fault cause of this one decision. So needless to say off we went. Carl did apologize for making me feel so bad.

They did a stress test at the hospital. As soon as I was hooked to the machine, Ashton moved. I didn't give you a time frame so it was almost 3 hours total before I felt him move. Yes it was nerve wracking because Carl was so upset. After being hooked to the monitors and still seeing a hb of 120, Carl was still nervous about the heart rate. The dr came in and told us that as the baby gets older the base line heart rate does drop. She said it could go down to 110 and then they would want to see me. She said they will panic at 100! I still don't think Carl feels good about the 120. It has been true though. We started off with Ashton's heart rate in the 160's and we have slowly watched it as it dropped. HMMMM maybe we should send the doppler back now?? This morning he is back into the 130's. Carl wanted to know if we could stay at the hospital with the monitor on for the next 7 weeks!! I don't think this will be the last time we go to the hospital for us being just nervous. That is also what I told them when I checked.

Belly picture

This is a little late but here is me at Thanksgiving so I would have been 29weeks and 6 days.

Had an appt Monday!

I have been a very bad blogger lately. Really there isn't much to report on. I went to my appt. on Monday and everything still seems to be good. I am still on a 2 week schedule so I am still taking that as a good sign that everything is going good. I have my next appt. with the NP on the 26th. I will then start stress testing every 2 weeks after that. 7 weeks and 2 days left until my due date still seems so far away! I know that these last weeks are going to take longer than the 12 years it took to get here. I am anxiously awaiting Ashton's arrival but not to early!

Ashton's New Wheels!

This is what Lisa brought for my shower! What a wonderful gift!

Lisa and I

I had to edit out the star on top of my head! The photo looked so funny then. It isn't the best photo but I hope I get better from my mother. My batteries went dead in my camara so I have to wait for her to get her fil developed.

My Shower!

I never thought this day would be here. I never thought I would ever have a shower. I was so excited. Lisa a friend from the internet was coming to my shower! She lives in Oh about 7 hours away! We had never met just talked on the phone. We met because both of us experienced great tragedy. She brought her family with her. She has a wonderful husband and 3 beautiful children. I was so happy to finally meet her. She came a day early and went to DC with the family to go site seeing. I was not able to go but I am glad that she had a great time.

I was so excited about the shower that Friday night I couldn't sleep! It was like a christmas holiday when I was a child! I just truely never thought I would get this far into a pregnancy. We got home from the shower and Carl went out with some friends so he didn't look at all the stuff we got! I didn't sleep last night just waiting for this morning so he could look! We got everything put together and put away!!. My sister through this shower for me and I love her dearly for it! I couldn't have asked for anything more.

Opening the pile!

My mother said that I never stopped smiling!

The 5 year daily planner!

This is Alana (grandmommy) My mother (Gramie) and my sister Dina. Dina has already said that she will not allow anyone any time with Ashton unless approved by her first! LOL So she gave the grannies a calandar at the shower!

I have been a bad blogger lately!!

Sorry I haven't updated in awhile. Carl and I cleaned house so we could have Thanksgiving Dinner! It took forever! The holiday was great! Dinner was great! We had about 20 people here for dinner. We had leftovers on Friday and my mother who is reading a grandmother's magazine mentions to my sister Dina that they should be helping clean my house. Since we had just cleaned the house, the only thing left to do was to clean the basement. My sister did this on Sat!! It took her about 5 hours. She straightens everything and made it look so nice!! Carl has a way of just dumping things at the bottom of the step. When I get a chance I am going to take pictures and post them!

Carl and I have been going to birthing classes. I think Carl is starting to get a little bit excited about the arrival of his son. We are still cautiously optimistic though! The classes have been fun and we have learned a few things that probably would have helped with Lorna's delivery. Last night they were showing massaging techniques so when we got home Carl practiced! Yea for me!!

I had an appointment today with the Dr and everything looks good. I unfortunately have gained 30 pounds! OUCH! Oh well, it can come off later! I don't really care as long as Ashton gets here and is healthy! I asked about my chances of a normal birth because of the lovenox/heprin injections and she said that she wasn't going to treat me any differently so my chances are the same as everyone else! I am also still on a 2 week visit schedule so I am taking that as good news cause that means there isn't anything wrong!

Meet the Maxlock Racing Team!

This is Andrea. She is the 2004 local champ. She moved into the masters car fot this years racing. We had a terrible time figuring out her car!! Hope we do better with it this upcoming season. We are going to tear her car apart and try to figure out where we went wrong. This will help us to since Taylor is moving into masters as well. Andrea's car was painted black for the season but since we already started to work on it the paint has been removed. We also deceided that black isn't a good color when you are fully inside the car and laying down!! It looked like a coffin! I am not sure what the new color will be for next year!

Meet the Gator!

This is Taylor. This years local Champ. She will be moving up to a masters car for next years racing! Don't you just love the gator on there!! She is very very girly and we call the car the girly gator! You can't see it but the toenails and fingernails on the gator are painted.

This is my goddaughter Courtney.

This is her car the Ocelot. I didn't even know what that was until she told me! She was a rookie this year. She won alot of trophies and 2 awards for best theme. She picked out the color of the car and the spots to make sure everything was just right for her Ocelot!

This is Lexie Legs!

She was a rookie this year. Her car that she raced this year has been retired. We put the shell of the car in the background (blue). This new car will be painted for next year. She has chosen monkeys. A whole bunch of them and her car will be called Lexie's Loonies! Here she is with her trophies from this year! Not bad at all!!

My Ultrasound and Appt. Today!!

Ashton is doing good! He is approximately 2lbs and 9oz! Right where he is suppose to be. He is only measuring 3 days ahead now. The placenta looked really good and my cervix looks good too! He was moving so much they had a hard time getting the steady heartbeat on him. We got to see him sucking his thumb! It was so cute. She tried to snap the photo but he moved. Everything about him looks good! It was so nice to see him again. I couldn't believe how much he had grown. I also can't believe that the last u/s was 10 weeks ago! Seems like I was just posting the u/s photos from last time! I was glad to see that he is measuring so close to his due date and that his weight isn't up there. The gestational diabeties can make for a big baby. I am relieved to know that the placenta looked really good and so happy that he is doing well.

Here is my profile!!!

Yes I still am a boy!!

This is my face!

This is the top of my head!

Looks like I am going to have big feet!

Just like my grampie!

My Hand!

Well I at least see 4 fingers!

My sister has set the date for my shower!

It is going to be December 3. I don't think it has really set in yet that this baby is coming soon. I am counting down the days!!

Went to church yesterday and it was our all saints sermon. Meaning the lesson is remembering those we have lost and those that are grieving. We get a chance to light a candle at the alter. I went up and lit one for Lorna. I cried. This is the 2nd time in a month our minister has made me cry at church. Grief is a funny thing. It truly never goes away and that person is always remembered. Lorna is forever apart of me and Carl and will never be forgotten. If it hadn't been for her, Ashton wouldn't have made it this far.

My mother felt Ashton move last night!

She was so excited. Ashton had the hiccups so it was easy to catch a movement. This is my father and mother last christmas.

Another DR's Appointment Down!

It was a really fast appointment. The nurses did my measurement which was right on target! They listened in for baby. I knew he was there, I listen before I go to the DR. My OB came in asked if I had any questions. I told her that I was starting to get crampy sometimes which she told me is normal for this time and that I needed to increase my water intake. She wasn't concerned. She said if I started to have them on a regular basis she wanted to know. She upped my insulin again. Not surprised. My numbers have been starting to go up in both the morning and at night. That was it. I am scheduled for my next ultrasound on November 11!! Can't wait to see him again!! Also yesterday marked 99 days to go!! Very exciting for me because I just never allowed me to think that this baby may make it. It is very very exciting.

Here is my Halloween Photo!!

One year ago.....

We found out that we were pregnant with Lorna. I remember this day vividly. I got up early in the morning to go and get my blood drawn. We waited forever for the dr's office to call. At 3:45 I ended up calling them. They close at 4:00. The nurse said to me that the DR had ordered more tests. I thought well, that can't be good. At 4:10 the dr called to say it was positive. That everything including the progesterone looked good. I got off the phone with him and told Carl. We were so happy. We hugged each other and cried. It was one of the best days of my life. I am a little sad today knowing that I should have a 3 month old baby girl.

Yikes!! My 24.2 week belly!!!

I didn't realize just how much I had grown till I compared the last photo 9 weeks ago!!

Oct 15. Infancy loss awareness day.

I bought 2 ballons. One for each of our losses.  I would love to believe that they sailed up into heaven and they have their ballons. We let them go last night. It was really nice. The moon was shining and it would catch the silver in the ballons and it looked like a little beacon light. We watched until we saw them no more.

Carl was in a parade Sat.

He was pulling the winners of the local soap box derby race. Taylor Garvin and Cody Brindle. He had our truck so shinny!!!

Do you think there is room on the bed for us??

Keep in mind too that I have 2 other cats that aren't on the bed!!

OK OK I didn't post all week!!!

I didn't have an exciting week until Friday. Friday comes along and we are having really hard rain! (left over Tammy) Anyway, our power goes out before I had breakfast so I am going into town to get something to eat. I get in the car and remember I don't have my insulin with me. Well, I get out of the car and lock it with the keys inside. Ok I didn't lock the house!! (I always lock but for some reason didn't) Well, my cell phone is in the car and we don't have a land line phone. All cordless. I walk to my neighbors house and ask to use her phone. It took me like 15 mins to get through to my Dad who happens to be a locksmith!!! Lucky me! He would probably would charge an arm and a leg. I live 17 miles from town!!! That was my exciting Friday!

Sunday I go to church and bawl through all of it! It was a day to recognize children in churches all around the world. My minister is an infertile herself. She had to have a ovary removed when she was 17 and the other doesn't work. She tells the story of accepting her infertility. This is something I hope that I don't ever have to do. She also is telling everyone to remember those children that God loved before they knew his name. I am thinking of Lorna and the water works begin.

She also tells a story of Ollie. This is a boy she met in Jamaica. He has Hydrocephalus. He is an orphanage that doesn't even have diapers. The caretakers tell her that he hasn't spoken but they are hopeful that he will. She is holding him and he says "Wah Wah" She says that everyone knows that means water! She gives him some water and he drinks and drinks. He then lays his head on her shoulder and says "Ma Ma" Ok might just be pregnancy hormones but now I am truly crying. I know I am starting to make a scene! The program ends with the number of children living in poverty in America, how many children are abused, how many women or teens can't afford prenatal care, how many children are born to teens. The list went on and on.

Yes in my sorrow there is great joy for the life that is growing inside of me but I can't help to think about all the children every where that don't have enough to eat or are abused. I don't understand why God allows this to happen. Why so many of us that want children can't or miscarry. God said bring the little children to him when it wasn't accepted to do this. Why does God allow bad things to happen to the children here? I know this question won't be answered but it is something that I think about a lot.

Carl felt the baby move!!!

Finally, last night Carl felt the baby move. I have been able to see him move since last week. We have been trying for the last week but every time Carl put his hand on my belly, Ashton would stop moving. Ashton was moving a lot last night and when Carl tried he felt him move. It was very exciting for Carl. He was so happy.

Ashton's room is done!!

Carl worked really hard this weekend to get it finished. It looks so much better than I thought it ever could. Even after Carl spilt a whole gallon of paint on the floor! We did get it up. You can see it if you are looking for it. We will wait on new carpet until he is older! I am sure we will need to by the time he is 5! Sorry the pics aren't that great. This is the furniture (crib and dressar) that we had bought for Lorna. I am so happy Carl went ahead and got it done. It does make me nervous that it is done!!!

The diaper changing/ dressar

We have to take this back. The leg is broken on it. They are going to reorder another one for us so we can excange it. The box wasn't damaged so it went into the box that way at the factory. The doors were also hanging off. Carl put them back on. We just wanted to get the room together.

This is Carl's Grannies Chair!!

Another appointment!

I had another appointment today. Everything looks really good! My Dr peaked in with the u/s machine. She said everything looks great! Heart was pumping away!! I looked at the picture on the screen and I would swear he had his feet by his ears! LOL Anyway, she asked if she had told us the sex or not and I said yes. She said he is a definitely little boy! I guess he was showing his stuff! I feel very excited and nervous all at the same time. I am scared to be excited!

Growing Pains!

I have them! They are freaking me out for the most part. Thank God for the Doppler. I called the DR to be sure that what I was feeling was round ligament pain! They assured me that is what I am feeling. I sure wish I could not be in such a state of constant panic. It is extremely hard not to worry about every ache and pain but I sure am. I only have 19 more weeks of this worry. Then I get to worry on a whole new level!

Halfway!!!

Well, yesterday anyway! I can't believe that I made it to this point. I am very excited about being here. I am still very much terrified that we can lose this one too. My and DH's guard is still up. I just got an email from baby center about signing up for birthing classes. Am I wrong does this seem just a tad bit early?? Any advice would be nice. I wanted to make a post yesterday but I was so busy trying to get the house straight and get us packed so we could go racing this weekend.

We got up at 2:15am. We have a four hour drive ahead of us! It is tiring to race this way but we are trying not to spend so much money. We get over to my mother's house and switch to our truck (that was hooked to the trailer yesterday). We get in and go. We aren't even to the interstate yet and WHAMMMM!!!!! Deer ran out in front of us and we centered it with our truck! YUCK!! Well, we get to the place where we are meeting my sister and we can smell something burning (probably just fur) The deer pushed our bumper into the grill some and we were afraid that we have damage to the radiator. There wasn't anything leaking yet that we could see but it was so dark and well we just didn't want to take the chance that the truck might break down away from the house! WE DIDN'T GO! I AM SO DISAPPOINTED! I LOVE RACING!

Today is the day!!

I am 19 weeks and 2 days along. This is the day that I have been so scared of because this is the time that I lost Lorna at. I haven't posted much here or anywhere all week long just trying to deal with my nerves. I know that everything on the 2nd looked great with Ashton but they did with Lorna and we lost her 10 days later. So I have been using my doppler about 4x a day!! Just for reassurance and the DR even said that I could! Anyway, I woke up last night at 2am and checked to be sure he was still with us and he was. I woke up again at 7am and checked again and he is still here. Tomorrow I am treading on fresh waters! I do hope that I can let go of some of these fears and truly enjoy this pregnancy. When you have lost like we have the innocence of pregnancy is gone and fear of the unknown becomes what you think about.

Everyone I would like for you to see

Ashton Lee Pleasants. Yes we are having a boy. This u/s sound today was sooo amazing. We got to see him move (something Lorna didn't do for us) Everytime the tech went to take a picture, he moved. She thought that is was going to be a gril but he showed himself for the dr when she came in!! My Dr also thinks that this baby is extremely healthy and looks good. She understands that it is our loss time(about) and was willing to see me next week just so that it would calm my fears. However I turned that down because we have the doppler at home. She said she felt like this baby was going to make it. I am calm today but I will go back to worring tomorrow!

This is my beautiful profile

At the bottom you can see my feet. I had them crossed

This is looking down at my skull

This is my butt with my legs!

This is a picture of my hand but I moved.

This is the top of my head with my arms out.

This is my hand

You can see my ulnar and radius bones.

Looking down this is my face

and arms!

Nerves Nerves Nerves!!

That about sums up an update from me!! I could leave it at that and leave you gals hanging but I won't! I am 17 weeks and 4 days now. Friday is my level 2 u/s. I am soooooooo nervous about this. I can't believe how nervous I actually am. I am nervous that their maybe something wrong. I really don't have reason to worry do I?? I mean the egg and sperm looked good to the Dr before they put them in. I am just really worried that there might be.

My appt on Friday puts me at 18 weeks. I had the level 2 done with Lorna at 17.6. Everything was fine with her. She had a little bit of fluid on her kidney but everything looked normal. 10 days later she was gone. I am approaching my loss date (weeks wise) and this has increased my NERVES!! I know this I just can't seem to get over it!!!!!!!!!

Look what Carl brought home for me!

When Carl got off from work on Wednesday, he stopped in at the flower shop and picked me up these flowers!! I love flowers! I said what a loving thing to do for no reason. He said "The reason is that I love you" What a wonderful thing he did! With the pregnancy hormones, I about cried!

Here is my Kitty Symon!!

Not much to update on so I though I would post another picture of another one of my cats!! You know I have 8 of them!! Symon is the typical siamese cat! He hates everyone in the whole world except me! This also includes all of the other cats in the house. If there is fighting among the cats, he is involved!

OMG!! Its a close-up!!!!

Ok I am starting to feel huge. I don't really look any different then I did before!!

My 15.2 week belly!!

Ok since I posted it on PW. I thought I might as well go ahead and let the rest of you see!

Another appt down!

Today's appointment was not with my regular OB DR. She is high risk and is out on vacation this week. I really didn't think they got one!! LOL Anyway I saw the DR that delivered Lorna. It was nice to see him on a better note then last time. He didn't do a peek in with the ultrasound machine! My OB would have. So sad, I don't have any photos to post! Anyway the appt. went well. Heard the heart beat with the doppler. We have one at home and we listen EVERY day!

I am still amazed that there is another bean growing there. I really felt like after we lost Lorna that there would never be another chance. I am so grateful that there is one. Goes to show, I guess, that if you want something badly enough you will continue to try. Thank God for second chances.

Also, last Monday was our 12th wedding anniversary. We didn't do anything special. Just went out to eat last Sunday. We didn't even exchange cards or anything at all. So it was uneventful evening together. It is sometimes the best evenings in the world when you do nothing at all!

Meet my Cat Steve

I am YoYo's and Ben's brother! Can you believe that? I am certain that I don't have the same father! I am the alpha cat and I like to make sure that it stays that way. I beat everyone in the house up just so they know!

Meet my cat Ben!!

As you maybe able to tell, I am YoYo's brother. Mom and Dad had a very hard time telling us apart when we were kittens. I love to be annoying. I just want to be loved and it doesn't matter where or when I demand attention. I expect to get it!!

Just a quick update

Yes I am back from vacation!! It is really nice to be home! Believe it or not? I was so tired that I think that I slept almost for 2 days straight. I had a really good time. It was great to take my god daughter with us as well. We had so much fun.

Our car that qualified for Akron Oh race didn't get to race but one time. It is single elimination. IT was ok though she had a good time as did everyone there. She even got her picture in the local newspaper for getting ready to race. I wish I could post the picture but I am afraid that is some copyright infringement. Does anyone know?

When we went to Saginaw MI. It was 3 days to try to qualify for the race. Unfortunately none of our cars did. My god daughter did win 1 heat but she needed to win 2 to qualify. Doesn't matter though we had fun and that is ALL that matters.

U/S photo at 11 weeks and 6 days!

One day shy of being out of the first trimester!! Yea!! So far so good. Everything looks good! I will get my level 2 u/s in about 6-7 weeks! I go back to the dr again in 3 weeks but I don't see her because she will be on vacation!! LOL

About missed my appt today!!

She took this one and the baby moved so she gave me the one above this! I thought today was the 20th so I just about missed the appt!!

Meet my cat Yoda!

We call him YoYo! I am active and into everything! I love to make dough and that presents a problem to my mom cause I like to on her belly!

I picked up Lorna's headstone Monday.

It is still in my car. We won't put it into the ground just yet. The person who did it will come to put it in our back yard but he isn't available until we get back from vacation. So here is the picture of it anyway.

So we picked up the crib and furniture today for the baby's room

I know you all are thinking my God is that way to early to do!! Well, here is the story behind the crib in a nut shell. This is the one we had picked out and had on special order for Lorna. The order never got cancelled because the store never called and my father-in-law who is getting it for us never called to cancel either. The reason this all got missed was because we bought it the weekend before we found out Lorna had died. It was just something we forgot about. In June they called to say that it was in and we had 10 days to come pick it up. I told them what had happened. They don't do refunds just store credit so we went ahead and got the crib and stuff. We will need it right? Trying to be positive about this pregnancy!

My husband has been so superstitious lately. It has been terrible. He has now taking on the role of the worrier. He has been distant from this baby trying not to let his guard down ect. Not getting attached to it. Well, Friday I am hitting magic number 12 and I think it is hitting him that I am pregnant again. Anytime I say something like ouch or ooh I get the "What's wrong?"

Yesterday before picking up the crib we went to listen for the heartbeat with the Doppler. He couldn't find it. It had only been 5 minutes of searching and I could see the look on his face that was horrible. It was the look that he had with Lorna. I told him"Hey, you are trying to find a baby that is only 2 inches long!! Put it down and let me try!" As soon as the control was given over to me, I found the baby. What a relief! I think we may have to record Lorna's heartbeat off of that and then record this one so we can send it back!! I haven't made up my mind yet on them. It was wonderful to have. It is nice that anytime I am in a panic I can try but then again I have the remembrance of not finding a heartbeat once before.

I have another appointment on Friday with the dr so that I can go on vacation. I am doing well on the shots. I picked up the Lovenox on Friday at the pharmacy, I think that my insurance company will have something to say about it. For a 30 day supply, the cost was $981!! Not for us but the insurance will have to cover it!! I was totally shocked at the price. The heprin was about $100 a week. I won't be surprised if that one comes back to see if I can't be put on the Heprin again!!

On the Pregnancy weekly front congratulations to Heather M who got a BFP this week congratulations again!!!!!!!!!!!

My Dr's appt today!!

Well my fears were just fears. Everything went well and if you scroll down you will see the u/s photo of my big one! I am saying big one because I am now measuring ahead of schedule. Eight days to be exact. That is mathmatically impossible!! So my Dr has kept my due date at Feb 3 2006. She said the blood flow looked good. She just did a quick peek with the u/s to make sure everything was ok and to give me peace of mind. She is at least sensitive to me worrying all the time!!

My sugars have been terrible this week. I sent them in a day early last week because I just knew I was going to be on the sugar pill. Her office called me on Thursday and said that she would probably put me on the Glyburide on Monday when I came in because she wanted to see me first. Carl said to me she probably wants to put you on insulin. Carl and I discussed it this weekend and thought it would be a good idea. I can't drive on insulin so work has to keep me out. Anyway, that is exactly why she waited. She wanted to try everything that she can a little different because of our loss. She said I have delivered 1000's of women's babies healthy that have taken the Glyburide. I have delivered 10's of thousands with women on insulin. She said she would prefer me to be on the insulin because just in case my body had a weird reaction to it that stepped up the Lupus Anticoagulant. She said she didn't think so but since Glyburide has only been approved for a year she would rather use a classic that she knows for sure is safe. So 2 insulin shots to my routine.

She is taking me off the Heprin and putting me on Lovenox. My RE DR did tell me to prepare for the move. He only gave me enough for 6 weeks anyway. This is how we got on this subject. Lovenox is already ready to be giving. It is in the needle and comes totally ready to put it. I like simplicity. I also get to go from 2 shots of heprin down to 1. Lovenox is longer acting. She said at 36 weeks we will be moving back to heprin. Heprin has some side effects (that I didn't know about and didn't ask either) the main one is that if you don't get enough calcium it will take it directly from your bones. Lovenox doesn't do this. However if there is a problem Lovenox is harder to reverse the effects of where heprin there seems to be an antidote of some sort! Not to sure I totally understood all of it myself but I was happy with the appointment and the little bean is growing well.

Can you see the face!!

It is so weird when I blow it up with the photo shop!! Hope you see what I do!!

I flipped it over so you can see the baby better!

Its amazing that as soo as the photo was flipped the baby was seen very well.

Ok here is the u/s photo!!

The baby is on his/her head!!

Tomorrow is my OB appt!!

I am actually going to have an exam tomorrow. I am terrified. You know she had me come in 3 weeks ago for a talk. I was terrified then too. I just can't get over the fear that something will be wrong. I have all these bad memories from Feb. and they are now right there in the front on my mind! I feel like I am going crazy!! I hope everything is Ok and I hope I get wonderful news tomorrow and that I get u/s photo as well. Lot of hoping going on which scares me too. Everything is causing me to worry. Every little twinge and pain that I have I think am I ok? Is the baby alright? I am driving myself crazy!!!! Hope all goes well tomorrow for me!

We heard the baby's heartbeat with the Home Doppler!!

I was sad all last week because my original due date was coming up with Lorna. I was due July 2. Friday, Carl and I were laying in bed and he asked me if I wanted to try to hear the baby's heartbeat. Friday I was 9 weeks pregnant. Well, we did! We found it within in 10 mins of searching and I really felt like Lorna gave me a gift from above. She was telling me not to worry about her sibling and not to worry about her due date. I felt so happy when we heard it. We only heard if for a couple of seconds until the baby moved. My husband didn't want to chase after him or her!

I made it thru Saturday ok. We kept busy and I kept my mind of the fact that I should be toting a newborn with me. I know she would have been born in June but God had other plans for her. We set off fireworks on Saturday night and it was just me and Carl all evening. It was a nice day.

Sunday we celebrated Carl's birthday with a surprise party for him. My best friend and his best friend are married and they did everything!! We set off more fireworks and had a really good time! I had a lot of fun.

Monday is Carl's birthday and he decided he wanted to go to Baltimore to see the fireworks on the Harbor. We took his parents and my 2 nephews and Talor and Lexie with us. Everyone was telling us we were nuts for taking the kids with us. I don't consider them kids anymore. Well not so much. They are 17, 14, 13, 12. Teenagers!! We ate at Phillips at the Harbor. We had them sing to Carl and another guy there it was his birthday too. He came up to Carl and asked how old he was before he stopped believing that the fireworks were set off for him!! We had a good laugh about that! Carl believe until his parents got divorced and he was carted off to England where they don't celebrate the 4th. The fireworks and dinner was wonderful

I did have spotting on the 4th. I just knew I was going to. I had a cyst appear just inside when I was pregnant with Lorna at 14 weeks. It ruptured and I spotted then too. I knew it had come back and I could see it this time. I figured with all the walking it would rupture. I just couldn't check until I got home. Well, that is exactly what it was. Thank God for that. Well ladies that was my holiday weekend. I have an appointment on Monday with the DR and I will be getting a u/s at that time. Hope all is well! Have a great hump day!

Taylor and Andrea (niece)

Taylor is this years winner of the soap box derby race and Andrea my niece is last years winner.

My sister and I

I am on the left and Andrea is on the Right

Yes I know I haven't updated in awhile!!!

There really isn't much to say!!! I am on the GD diet and it sucks!!! SHHHH!!! I cheated today at lunch!!! I had pizza which isn't on the diet anywhere!!! Couldn't help myself!! Hope my sugar is ok with it! My sugars in the morning are sky high like they were with Lorna. I send the levels in on Friday and I won't be surprised if I am on Glyburide by the weekend in the am!! I have been good about the diet. (except for lunch today!!) We will find out how bad that number is in like 15 more minutes! I am doing fine otherwise. The cramps have eased up and I haven't had any spotting since that one time. I am going to post some pictures too of the soap box race. Hope you all are having a great week!

Got a new lap top...

Yes I know, what a boring title. There isn't much going on around here. My DH went and got a new lap top for me -and get this- just in case I have to go on bed rest!! Do you think that is an excuse or what? Anyway, I was playing around with the new computer and I came to my web site where I saw that Lorna's photo's play all the time. This doesn't happen on my computer nor my mother's so I just wanted to know if they did this to you. I am going to have to change it so that is doesn't do that. I guess I can just link the page. I didn't want people to have to look at her, only if they wanted to. Guess I will do this latter on today. Sorry about the pictures if it does happen on your computer too.

Congratulations JENN!!!!! I am so happy for you BFP!!!!!!! Another one. Hope this is the trend for the next few weeks and there is no one left on the TTC Over a year board!!!

I was terrified of seeing her again....

I was so scared to walk thru those doors. The last time I saw her she was delivering the bad news that Lorna had gone on to Heaven. I swallowed my fears and entered in. As I was sitting in the waiting room (this took me by surprise) I was getting angry at seeing all the other women in there with big bellys. All I was thinking was that should have been me! Even though I am pregnant I just couldn't help but think about where I should have been.

Anyway, she didn't do an exam or anything she just wanted to talk to me and make sure I was emotionally ok to go back to her. Did I blame her? I think was the question on her mind. I don't I have come to terms with it was going to happen. Lorna just wasn't suppose to be my earth child. She was meant for greater things in Heaven. She discussed the Gestational Diabeties again. She has stuck me back on the diet! Yuck! I love pasta and breads!! Not on that diet at all! Anyway I gotta do what I gotta do. I have to start taking my surgars now 4x a day. and mail them into her once a week. She says that I will probably have it again. She is going to keep me on the Heprin and not change it to Lovenox. I am happy about that too. My next appointment with an u/s will be July 11.

Can You believe this???

I got a message from my RE DR on Friday afternoon after the u/s. He called my high risk OB DR and she wants to see me on Monday. Well, I am shocked at having to go to her so soon. My RE DR will see me up until there is an established heartbeat. That happened as you all know on Friday. I am just in shock that he called her right away and that she wanted to see me right away! I am glad that she is taking my Lupus Anticoagulant more serious than last time. I am glad that she is going to take me in so soon. I was just shocked that she wanted to see me so soon. Believe me I am thankful for it!

Thank you all for being so supportive of me and giving me encouragement when I needed it. I am so glad that I have my internet friends! I am so thankful for pregnancy weekly and pregnancy.org. I would have been a total basket case after my loss in Feb, if it weren't for the wonderful women giving me support there. As I moved on into the next IVF cycle I got support from all of you! You all give me strength and I am so grateful for it. Thanks again

Here is today's U/S Photo!

Heartbeat of 149 beats per min!

Not Hopeful

Here it is just hours before my u/s and I am now spotting. Not going to get my hopes up on this bean just yet. I am so upset. I had spotting with Lorna but her heartbeat and ect had been established. I will let you know as soon as I know if we are expecting or expecting to m/c or not. Pray for me and my lil bean.

Ultrasound from Last week! Can you see anything?